I almost felt relieved when Kolya came and greeted me as if I was an old friend who he hadn't seen in ages. I mean – him being here wasn't exactly good news, the reason for his visit being too obvious. But at the moment it seemed better than having to laugh at the girl's mean jokes about literally everyone.
“Yeah, yeah, long time no see, man! Let me invite you to a beer!” I greeted him too.
As the bartender served us both beers, he pulled me aside from the girls so they couldn't hear us. His voice was barely audible below the obnoxiously loud music, but crystal clear to my ears. “Sandy. What the hell are you doing.” At least he was trying to not draw any attention.
I played dumb. “Man, you've seen me smoking countless times!”
“Sandy, you know what I mean. That girl is sixteen at most.”
I looked at him in the eyes. “Your point being?”
“Jesus, Sandy. Are you serious? You don't even care?”
“I wouldn't be here if I did, would I?”
He got closer to me. “Where's that kid who would rather be in an office than do actual work, Sandy. Where's that guy who would rather become a plant than... hurt anyone.”
“Dead.”
“And who killed him.” His idea of a correct answer was painfully obvious. And kinda wrong.
“I did.”
Kolya took a long gulp from his beer, trying to hide his... aversion to what I had become. Then he looked at me, his eyes full of bitterness. “You'll do anything he asks, won't you?”
I smirked at him. “Yes.”
“Why. And don't you tell me it's because you're doing her a favor.”
“Oh, but I am. Am I not? … You know him. You know what happens if I don't do this. He'll take care of it himself.”
“So what. To hell with the devil. Save yourself.”
“It doesn't work like that.”
He sighed hard and took another sip of beer. “I don't know why the hell I keep trying. I should have figured you don't have a heart anymore. Especially after what you did...” His voice trailed off, but it was obvious what he meant. To Key.
Damned bastard. I took a long gulp of beer too. You think it doesn't hurt? You think I'll ever get over it? … Yes, it was the price to pay, but that doesn't mean it hurts any less. Still. It was not the moment to let him know. He knew already, and I still had a job to do, and looks like someone to mess with. I put on the work mask and smirked at him again. “Well, she had to go. It was the price to pay for what I have now.”
His face was priceless. He definitely wasn't expecting that answer. “I hope it was worth it.”
“Oh, it was.” … I wasn't even lying.
He looked down, too horrified to hold my stare. “He'll end up hurting you, Sandy. And you know it.”
“So be it. And stop acting like you care, Kolya.”
“I've always cared about you, Sandy.”
“Well... we wouldn't be having this whole conversation about my... career choices if it wasn't for what you two did. So, there. Stop it. I have a job to take care of, and you're not helping.” I turned around and left him alone with his beer.
I was fighting the crowd to get back to the girls when my comms chip beeped. “I couldn't be more proud of you, Sandy.” Andrei. My words came to my mind again, and suddenly I had a flashback. Key's eyes. A hint of apprehension and a handful of determination. The same game I had played one too many times when trying to free her from myself, even if the price was my life. And then the loud bang that announced the end. Key dropping dead to the ground.
My whole world was spinning wildly, helped by the flashing lights and the deafening noise they called music. I couldn't get the image out of my head. Her eyes. The wildfire. Smothered into ashes.
And then I felt it. A hug from behind, taking my breath away. His soft whisper brought me back. “I'm here, Sandy. I'm here for you.”
I twisted around enough to reply without the whole crowd hearing me. “I had another flashback.”
“I shouldn't have said anything. But... I had to. Anyway. Better?”
I nodded, not wanting to let go. This was what I had paid the price for – what made it all worth it.
He seemed to read my mind, and hugged me tighter, turned me around like a puppet so he could look into my eyes. Despite the flashing lights, his were gleaming as a sunset sea. “Sandy, I know you know, but just in case. About what Kolya said. You don't have to do this. I've told you.”
I smiled at him. “And I've told you I want to.”
He smiled back. “That's my boy.”
