I hopped into the shower as soon as we got home. The cool water felt good against my skin. I let it wash the blood on its own, I was in no hurry. I closed my eyes and let it soak me to the bone. It had been a weird day. I felt dead inside, but also full of life. The evening test had been... different. I had been different. I still had my doubts, but I had stepped over them -- probably for the first time. Probably for the first time it hadn't been a show-off or a trance.
It kinda hurt to realize that. To realize that Andrei was right, that he'd always been. That it was all my choice. Of course, that was the only reason why he had given me a choice, don't think I'm such an idiot to not see that.
I was still mind-tripping when he opened the door to the bathroom. "You're going to get a cold, Sandy. You're already squeaky clean, boy. Say, why don't you come already?"
He handed me a bathrobe as I stepped out of the shower, and helped me put it on, hugging me from the back in the process. I just stood there, feeling. Listening to his soft breath, feeling its warmth against my neck, and drowning in his arms. I lost track of time. It felt like forever, and yet, such forever didn't feel nearly long enough.
He finally let go and headed back to the big room, signing at me to follow him.
He lay down on the huge bed with a tired sigh -- it had been a long day, indeed. He patted the other side of the bed. "Come on. Come here."
I couldn't help smiling. "You know that's cheating," I said as I lay down on the bed too, my eyes glued to his.
"Is it?" He smiled too, and took my hand. "I wanted to tell you I'm really proud of what you did today, Sandy. Don't you think I didn't notice."
I sighed, still smiling, now more sadly. "Well, I... think you're right. I don't want to leave."
He smirked, playfully. "Don't you lie to yourself. It's not that. You like it. Don't you?"
I closed my eyes for a moment. Of course he was right -- he always is. But admitting it wasn't that easy. I opened my eyes again, only to find his. And I knew I had to. "...Yeah."
He was beaming. Almost literally. "That's my boy."
I smiled back at him.
"Sandy, I've been thinking... you have gone through a lot -- we have gone through a lot. Yet you still cling to the past. I think it's about time you let go and move on."
"What... what exactly do you mean." The guys? ... But... I had proven a handful of times that I was over them... right?
"I mean that stupid nickname. I get it, you too find it funny, but... you know, it's all about past memories. It's time you let go of it all. Say, would you mind if I called you Sasha?"
My brain went from 'what', to 'oh, no', to bursting into laughter. "No, I won't. You see, for a moment I thought you were gonna say Alex, or something. I hate that one, reminds me of... you know, the special program. But as long as it's not that, I don't really care."
He hugged me. "I just wanted to be sure. Sasha."
