Prison Showers

Sasha entered the prison shower room. There, tied to a bench, was the aftermath of a glorious battle. Will against reality. Reality being five big thugs known for brutally raping anything they could get away with. Will being a poor idiot, too stubborn to realize willpower doesn't get you anywhere when you're against such a Reality.

And that had not even been the first assault. Before Big D and his guys, all the prison guards who worked for me had also had fun with our poor guy. They were physically nicer than the thugs. But then, physical pain is only a part of the game – playing with their minds tends to get you so much further.

Sasha had to play nice now. Let the guy catch his breath. If only for a moment, before the next assault started. He gently untied the knots and let the guy free. "Hey. Hey man. You okay?" You could hear the tenderness in his voice. He was such a great actor.

Mr. Will stopped whimpering to look up at Sasha, taking his kindness for more nasty teasing. "Do I look okay to you?" He let out a whimpering sigh, maybe realizing his animosity wouldn't get him anywhere. "I'm anything but okay."

Sasha ignored it and proceeded to carry him to one of the shower stalls. "Hey. Some warm water may help you. Let me try to help, yes?"

They both sat under the streaming water, the poor idiot still whimpering. Sasha fell silent for a moment, letting the guy process – to some extent – what had just happened. "It's over now. Just breath, okay? … I'll take you to the infirmary later so they can check on you, make sure you're at least physically okay. But first you have to calm down, you know."

The guy sat in silence. The water from the shower washing away both memories and tears. Except those memories were the kind that will never ever wash away. I had made sure of that.

"Anyway," Sasha continued after a long pause, "lemme give you some advice, okay? You can't win this war. You can't win against Andrei. That's how it is. You're getting hurt for nothing."

The man's attitude changed. Will was back into the battle, with renewed strength. "I won't. I… I can't, no matter what."

Sasha sighed hard. "You're a stubborn one, huh? Look, I know you think you can take this. But you can't. Let me tell you. I've seen him do worse. And he'll do it. He always does that – literally whatever it takes to get results. There's no way in hell you can stand against him."

The guy looked at Sasha. "Why are you doing this. You're with him, stop messing with my mind." He tried to get up, but he was too beaten up for it. So he sat again, eyes closed. "No matter how you ask, no matter what you do, I won't."

Sasha got up, ready to leave. "There's a reason so many people swear he's the devil himself, you know." Soaked to the bone, he left the showers to met me in the observation room. "He's too stubborn, Andrei. He won't do it."

I didn't bother trying to hide the smile creeping into my lips. "Not yet."

- - -

A while later, we were back in the shower room. Sasha carrying the ghost of another man, one that had been through one too many days in hell – in this prison. He had no voice other than to say "please, please, no", in a barely audible whisper. … The target. Another idiot of a journalist who had though publishing classified files was a good idea. He had been charged with treason and sent here. Now that his minimum serving time was over, some human rights groups were campaigning for his liberation. I was going to make sure that didn't happen – loudly. Namely, he couldn't be released if he was dead.

Sasha sat him on another bench, while I grabbed Mr. Will and tossed him against the other guy. "Look what I brought you."

His voice betrayed him – his will was starting to falter yet again. "I – I swear I won't, no matter what you do."

I almost laughed out loud. "Oh, yeah. Right. You're too stubborn, aren't you?" I handed him a knife. "Spare yourself of this hell, man. Kill him already. Just cut his throat open. It will only take a few seconds."

"NO!! No, I will not!!" His eyes locked in the knife as if it was a venomous snake trying to bite him. To spread its poison through his veins, tainting his very soul. … And to a point, it would. Not the tool by itself, but the decision to put it to use.

I knelt by his side, the poor idiot holding to the bench like it was a life-saving float. I left the knife in front of him before looking into his eyes. My hand absentmindedly grabbed his shoulder. "…Do you think you had a bad day today, huh? Well, we have time. We can repeat it as often as you want. The guys will be really happy to hear that you're so much into this shit." I got a little closer. My hand randomly tracing the huge X-shaped wound that was still lightly bleeding. "Ten units of serum twice a day, morning and evening. That's like, five times what you got today. Then, the guards will come, and then Big D and his friends. Every day. Until you change your mind."

"Go to hell." He mumbled between his teeth, probably louder than he had intended.

"Oh, but we're already in hell, my friend. Ask him." I pointed to the ghost with my head. "What's this if not hell itself? What could be worse than day after day after day of what you've gone through? Huh? … Let me tell you. Yes, I can indeed make it worse." I grabbed the knife. "Have you heard? It's an old Asian method, or maybe from the old Inquisition, I can't really remember. They called it the death by a thousand cuts." I let the knife rest lightly over his forearm. "See, I can cut all the shit I want, and as long as I don't let you lose too much blood, you'll survive. … Eventually, you'll die of blood loss, obviously. But it can take a REALLY long time." I let the knife slice through his arm, leaving behind a long, thin gash.

His scream echoed in the tiled room.

"And you think that's the worst? … Oh, no. Not at all. Skin cuts aren't that bad, actually. It's when you start with pieces that it gets nasty." I looked up at Sasha. "Show our friend, will you?"

Sasha could have been a robot. He drew a knife, forcefully grabbed the ghost's hand, and sliced one of his fingerprints off. The poor man couldn't even scream anymore, just started sobbing almost silently.

I gently smiled at him. "Sasha, I meant the whole tip, you know."

His voice was cool, yet almost velvety. "I thought we had the time to do it bit by bit." … Whoa, boy. Yeah, we do. I nodded at him to keep going on. ... He peeled the nail next. Then sliced the flesh under it, this time really slowly. And finally dug through the joint to pop up all that was left - a tiny bone.

All the time, our ghost was just crying in silence. Knowing all too well that trying to stop it was not just useless, but even counterproductive. Cooperating was always the best option – even under these circumstances.

I grabbed Mr. Will by his hair and made him look at me again. He had a trail of vomit running down his chin, up to a puddle by his side. Thank god he was on an empty stomach, else it would have stunk really bad.

"Look at me, you idiot."

"I won't fucking kill an innocent man, I swear."

"… You can swear all you want. You'll both share the same fate. Piece after piece. Until you're both lying dead on a pool of your own blood."

"I WON'T!"

"Not even to save him from hell, huh? … Even though his fate is written. Well, I can keep raising the stakes. Make it even worse. A piece every hour. First one will be bad enough. But think, you'll have a whole hour to think about the next one. And after that, another hour to keep thinking about all the blood there is, and about how much it hurts, and about whether it's a sign of infection. … Oh, I'll make sure it indeed is, just to add fuel to the fire, you know." I grabbed the knife again and sliced his pinkie's fingerprint.

My guess is he tried to scream something like "I fucking won't you fucking bastard", but it was completely unintelligible.

I couldn't help smiling. "And what do you think happens after the fingers are gone, huh?" I held his hand to the harsh light. "We'll have to move to the next bones." I let the knife trace them along the back of his hand. "These are tricky, man. But don't worry, I have more than enough experience to do it right."

He looked at me like he'd finally seen the devil. He was on the very edge, a step further and he'd finally break.

"… And then? … I've never gotten past there, you know. … I don't even know how you'll grab a knife if you have no hands. Guess we can tape it to your wrist. That is, until your arms are also gone, bit by bit. Or did you think you get to have one big bone cut off at a time? … Nah. Too much blood loss. Too fast."

One more step…

"Oh, and silly me. I was forgetting about the serum. They didn't have that in the old ages, but now we do. A unit every hour. Soon, that alone will be too damn much to handle. Add the hourly cut. … Told you we're in hell."

It was Sasha's turn to deliver the last blow. "Or you can skip all that, spare not only yourself but also an innocent man from all that pain. All it takes is a few seconds. A quick slash. … Save yourself, man. Save him. There's no winning against the devil."

Mr. Will finally took the knife.

The Ball (13) - Blood

Eventually, Andrei let go, only to look into my eyes. His were already dry, the mask back in place completely hiding any hint of feelings, other than his familiar creepy smirk. "Now, Sasha, the party isn't over yet, is it?" He pointed at the waiter with his head.

I looked at our guy. He was curled up in a ball, his eyes tightly closed and his bloody hands trying in vain to cover his ears. Trying hard to convince himself this was only a bad dream, a nightmare.

I glanced at Andrei, who just nodded. Words weren't needed. They had already been said, after all. I grabbed the bloody toothy pliers, put them in my pocket, and faced the guy, my hand casually resting over his arm. "Hey." I shifted my hand to gently move his so he could hear. "Hey, man. Have you heard Andrei?" I got closer. "He said party isn't over."

The guy tried hard to cover his ear again while letting out a pathetic whimper.

I held his hand away from it. "No, man. Don't do this. It doesn't help anyone, you know."

Andrei had come to our side. He didn't say a word, just grabbed our guy by the wrist and pulled, sending him flying across the room. The poor thing crashed loudly against the glass door to the balcony, smashing the thing and making a bloody mess in the process. He started wailing in pain – smashed glass tends to be pretty sharp.

Andrei again walked up to him, grabbed him by the ankle, and dragged him across all the shattered glass, back into bed. Our guy cried louder in response, but Andrei completely ignored him 'till they both were on the bed. "Sasha, hold him, will you?"

I shifted around to grab his arms, immobilizing them. Andrei sat on his belly, making sure he couldn't really use his legs. Then he drew a knife, took it to our guy's cheek, and started fidgeting with it, without saying a word. Our guy naturally started whimpering yet again.

Andrei grinned at that while letting out a supposedly disappointed sigh. "I'm getting tired of all your screaming, my friend. Sure, the walls here are fully soundproof, but they can only do so much. So, shut the hell up already, or I'll have to make you." He paused for a moment. "You know, since you aren't actually screaming, but more like, wailing, chances are cutting off your tongue won't make it." He smiled again. "I'll have to tear your throat open and cut those pesky vocal chords. THAT will shut you up, that's for sure."

Our waiter bit his tongue, trying hard not to make more noises. Still, it's quite hard to cry in complete silence.

"Now, here's the deal," Andrei continued. "You scream again – you know what I'll be doing. Understand? … Good. Now, Sasha. I believe you had a job to do? Huh?"

Yeah. The guy's teeth. Oh, well. Andrei shifted his hand to hold the guy's mouth open, as I reached for the pliers. The guy started wiggling like mad when he saw them. I closed my thighs around his head, immobilizing it. "Now, now. I can't exactly say no, and he won't exactly change his mind, you know. So, you better cooperate, we make this quick, and before you know, it will be over. Okay?"

Andrei laughed. "Sasha, don't lie to him. This is going to be hell, and you're gonna make sure of it."

I looked into his gleaming eyes for a full second. That gave me the strength to make the decision yet again. I couldn't help smiling. "Of course, Andrei," I said before looking down and latching the pliers into one of his front teeth.

Small twist. High-pitched scream. Pull. … My poor eardrums. Andrei took the knife and stabbed it into the guy's throat, right through the vocal chords, letting it there to staunch the blood – we didn't want his lungs filling with it, after all. He looked back at me. "Keep going, Sasha."

Again. Latch. Twist. Pull. Vain attempts at screaming, that now were just a soft gurgling roar. Much easier on the eardrums, if you ask me. … And again. And yet again. 'Till there was not a single tooth left in his bloody mouth. Quite the sight, if you ask me.

Andrei checked the guy's pulse. "We don't have all that much time," he said, before springing up to open another drawer. He came back with a pulley and some rope.

That's when I looked up and saw it. There were already two hooks in the ceiling. … I didn't want to know what the hell was it with this one hotel room, honestly.

Andrei had climbed onto the headboard and was trying to attach the pulley to the hook right on top of the bed. He quickly glanced at me. "Sasha, can you find the hooks in the case?"

Oh, shit. Okay. Oh-kay. I opened his briefcase, trying hard not to think too much about its contents. But it wasn't easy considering that I had to search through them to find the damned hooks. I finally found them – two shark-sized fishing hooks. Shit.

I handed them to Andrei, who quickly tied them to the rope. "Okay. This is ready. Now, Sasha. If I remember correctly, this was your test? Huh?" He looked at me. And for a split second, I got lost in the sea again, right 'till he insisted. "Sasha?"

I got back into reality and nodded. "Where?" Where do I hook them. "We don't have that much height in here." For hooking an adult guy to the ceiling.

"His knees. I have something for you in mind."

… That's never a good thing. Right? … For once, I was wrong. Anyway, I pierced the guy's legs, just above the knee, with the hooks. Thankfully, they were deadly sharp. The guy of course tried to wiggle and scream, but Andrei was holding him tight, and the knife – and the blood – in his throat turned his scream into a low gurgle.

"Get him up, Sasha."

I pulled at the rope and lifted the guy up – held only by two giant fishing hooks pierced through his knees' skin. Andrei was trying his best to keep him steady, but it wasn't an easy task. "Hey, listen to me, you idiot. If you keep moving, the skin is gonna rip, do you hear me? THAT hurts. Now, stay still already, dammit!"

After a short while, he seemed to understand that the more wiggle, the more pain, so he finally stopped. I couldn't keep my eyes away from him. He looked like a dead pig at the slaughterhouse – a bloody mess.

Andrei hugged me from behind. "Do you trust me?"

"You know I do."

"… What are you willing to do?"

"Just ask." There was no hesitation in my voice. I had already made up my mind.

Andrei sighed. "Okay. Close your eyes and let go."

As I closed my eyes, he gently guided me to lie down on the bed, belly up. Soon I felt something warm dripping over my chest – and I realized what he'd done. I couldn't help opening my eyes to see it – to see the blood dripping all over, tainting my soul like a drop of ink can taint a full glass of water. And I couldn't help smiling as I saw his eyes and understood. No way out, indeed.

The Ball (12) - His own medicine

Andrei looked into my eyes, a soft, eerie grin mixed with the usual void in his. "Now, what are you willing to do, Sasha."

I closed my eyes. I couldn't drown again in the midnight sea. "Anything."

I opened them back to find him a foot in front of me. "Really?"

"I'll take care of–" I cut myself off.

His expression made clear he wasn't talking about the guy. "Are you ready for another test, then?"

I sighed. What in hell could he have in mind this time, I had no clue. But, if I had a choice, I didn't want it. "Yeah. Ask."

His usual grin was tainted with uneasiness. "I want to see how far you can go, now that you know how it feels. Add in some serum. Make me ask you to stop. And keep going. Make me regret this."

... SHIT. "How... how can you do that, Andrei," I managed to say.

He grinned harder. "Well, I'd say you know the answer already, don't you?"

I sighed. Yeah. I was his target, after all. "Okay. One more question. And I'll do it. Why."

"Oh, you will?" His eyes gleamed hard, but for a split second, I saw beneath the mask – a hint of apprehension. He knew well what he was asking for. He was hoping I couldn't get that far, no matter how much he wanted me to pass the test. Yet the smiley mask erased all that from his face. All that was left was delight and pride. "Well, then, let me tell you why. It's like, the ultimate test, isn't it? If you can manage to do that to someone you care about – to me... you can pretty much do anything. I know what I'm getting myself into, and honestly, it seems like a small price to pay for your soul, Sasha."

I held his stare. So that's what you want. Everything. Well, it's been a long time since I agreed to your deal, you devil. "Makes sense."

"Okay, so, this is what you'll be doing. Start with serum. Twenty, thirty CCs should do it. Then pull it out. I'll ask you to stop – don't. Deal?" He leaned back onto the bed and managed to handcuff himself to the headboard.

I had a stupid smirk in my whole face. Andrei wasn't realizing his mistake of sorts – yes, I cared dearly about him, but he deserved this and then some. Yes, it would be painful to do it... but not as much as targeting, say, an innocent kid. Who really had done nothing and didn't know shit. "You're gonna regret this, Andrei. I swear," I said as I reached for the serum. The few syringes of crystal caught my eye too – but that wasn't really in the script, was it?

He smiled back. "I sure hope so, my boy. Now, make me proud."

"Oh, I will." I injected him with the first 10CC. Then realized, I had no idea of how much was enough. So I grabbed the pliers and latched them – also on a wisdom teeth. The small twist almost made him scream. And I realized what I was about to do. Sell my soul, indeed. Shit. But I had no choice. I had to. I wouldn't disappoint him. I'd make him proud. No matter what. I put on the mask. "Hey, just ten is enough for you? I had you for a lot tougher, man."

He tried to smile, but the pliers twisted it into a grotesque grin.

I gave him two more 10CC shots before testing again. This time he couldn't hide a soft wail – but once I stopped, he signed me a thumbs up. So I went for two more. Fifty in total. Hell on earth for anyone who hadn't abused it – but we'd reached much, much more in 'controlled tests' a.k.a 'let's see how far can we get before we have to stop'. But then, the whole tooth pulling thing was more painful than our usual electroshocks – if only, 'cause it didn't stop at the flip of a switch.

I tested again, and now he screamed to the top of his lungs, his wrists pulling hard against the cuffs. Oh, well. "But you wanted this, didn't you?" I teased. "In fact, you asked me to keep going long past your limits, didn't you?" I unlatched the pliers so he could reply. Big part of the fun was the whole argument thing.

"Goddammit, Sasha, I told you twenty or thirty, not fifty."

"You told me not to stop."

He sighed hard. "Okay. I've changed my mind. You win. I wasn't expecting you to get that far, alright? ... I wasn't expecting you to pass this one."

I smiled, letting the pliers rest on his chest so I could get closer – merely a couple inches from him, as he usually did. "Oh, well. I told you I was gonna make you proud, boss." I said that on purpose. He hated being called anything that was not his name. "I told you I was gonna make you regret this." I got on my feet to bring more serum.

He bit his tongue, realizing he was not in a position to protest a simple name. Realizing his mistake, but maybe not yet the full extent of it. "Sasha. Please. Enough is enough," he said when he saw the two extra syringes. "Do it if you want, but I already have had more than enough serum."

"I thought you'd said there's no such thing as going too far? ... Oh, sure, being there is not the same as being on the other side, up on your high horse, is it? One sees everything from another perspective, don't you think?"

He sighed. "Look, if you're going to get all moralizing to me..." He trailed off as the sixth syringe pierced his skin. His voice wasn't all that creepy anymore – now it was almost teary. Fearful. "Please. Please, Sasha. Stop it. You win, I've told you. You've beaten my best expectations. Now, stop it, will you?"

I didn't say anything else, just gave him the last shot. He just closed his eyes and started to take deep breaths, understanding that I wouldn't stop. He tried to look into my eyes as I grabbed the toothy pliers, but I avoided it. I wanted to get this done. I had done more than enough, indeed. So I latched the pliers, and, after the slight twist, that already sent him wailing, I pulled hard. I couldn't help smiling as he screamed his lungs out, in vain trying to ask me to stop – between the pain and the pliers, all that came out of his mouth was an unintelligible screaming mumble.

In a few moments, it was done. I tested for his pulse – just in case – and noticed his heart was racing. He kept whimpering from the pain, now in somewhat intelligible words. "Please, make it stop already..."

I unlocked his handcuffs –he wasn't going anywhere like that, anyway– and reached for the antidote.

I showed him the small syringe. The game wasn't over. "You want this?"

He tried to turn over and crawl to get it, but was in too much pain to actually move. "Please, you've done enough, please..."

I looked at my hand, at the small syringe. And couldn't help handing it to him. He stabbed himself like a madman, trying to get the soothing chemicals in as soon as possible. He tried to breathe deep, to make the long seconds that it took to act somewhat shorter. Then he bolted up and looked at me, realizing something was wrong, realizing it wasn't only taking too long to act, but the pain was getting worse – spreading all over.

And for the first time, as he realized what I'd done, I saw true fear in his eyes. He could barely mumble a muted "Sasha, please..." over and over.

Crystal. In his pain, he hadn't checked what I'd given him, too eager to make it stop. I had changed my mind at the last moment, actually – I still had the antidote in my pocket.

I knew well what he was going through. Hell. Yes. I'd been through worse. Seventy units weren't that much for us, actually. Add crystal... okay, yes, it was that much. But still, I had been through worse – at his hands. He deserved every minute, every single second of this. And I would make sure he would have it. After all, he used to say he deserved everything I could throw at him and then some – and he was utterly right.

I took in his fear. It's not every day you see someone like him actually fear something. And he'd asked for this. I drew the antidote syringe and sat beside him. "It's funny, hm? Knowing that you deserve this. That you asked for it. And yet here you are, wondering when will I finally stop."

He managed to talk somewhat clearer now. "Sasha... please... just tell me what you want... but stop it... stop it already..."

I couldn't help grinning. "I just want to make you proud of me, Andrei. Tell me. Am I doing a good job? Hm?"

He knew too well begging wouldn't actually get him anywhere, but he was desperate enough to keep trying.

I ignored it. "Now, tell me. Do you really think we can't know? Hm? ... Sure, it's not the same. They fear for their lives. We fear for what we know can and will happen. But deep inside, it's all the same. Or, tell me, and please be honest. Wouldn't you do anything to make it stop?"

"Yes, yes, Sasha, anything you want, I swear, just make it stop..."

I smiled again. "Are you hearing yourself? ... Anything I want? You're taking quite a risk with that, Andrei. Good thing I just want to see you like this." ... That was a lie. To a point. I think. Whatever. "And here I thought I'd never see it. I'd never see you actually fear for anything. Silly me. All it took was you asking for it."

"Goddammit, Sasha... please... You've already done enough..."

"You did worse. Did you realize that? No, you didn't. You see, there was a point in Key's training exercises. It wasn't only about pain resilience, or about keeping your feet on the ground. It was also about getting to know it so you could use it later. Okay, you don't need that last part, right. But the whole keeping your feet on the ground? ... Welcome to reality, boss. Welcome to your own hell."

His curses started getting worse. Realizing I wouldn't stop so easily, he drew strength from the pain and started swearing more and more.

I finally sighed, after yet another good while of teasing. "Okay, okay. I get it. No need to embarrass a sailor. You've had enough." I gave him the last shot – antidote.

It took about a minute to act, but he relaxed long before that. Not having to try not to scream his lungs out did make a difference. Then he looked at me. Broken. And he hugged me, hard, almost taking my breath away. I noticed something wet in my cheek – his tears. This had been harder on him than I had expected. He wasn't used to trying his own medicine, after all.

"Hey. It's over." I said. "Look, I..." ... I'm sorry, I was going to say. I shouldn't have.

But he cut me off. "Cut that crap, Sasha. You did what you had to. You beat my wildest expectations. I want you to know that I couldn't be any prouder of you. So don't you dare to say you're sorry now. ... We both know you'd be lying."

I hugged him harder. It was painful to admit, but he was utterly right.

The Ball (11) - The Tooth

I couldn't hide it this time. Andrei saw my doubts from a mile away. He let go of the guy and came to face me – in his own way. He circled around and rested his hand on my shoulder from behind. "I thought you said you'd do anything? Huh?"

"I... I will. It's just... sometimes it's still hard, okay? I mean, having seen it without the serum, and add three CCs, and... it's not easy, okay?"

I could clearly feel his grin as his hand crept ever so closer to my throat. "You ever tried that one?"

I shook my head.

"Would you want to?"

It took me a second to make the decision. "Do it."

"Sasha, that's not what I asked."

I sighed. Words. Every single time.

Thank the devil he seemed to read my frustration and stopped his word games. "Okay, okay. No need for more. Lie on the bed, and get ready. This is some intense shit."

I took a deep breath. Either he was being completely honest, or this would be hell. Either way, I didn't care. I was painfully sure I'd been through much worse. You see, I was sure if there was no serum involved, it couldn't be that bad. I walked slowly to the bed and laid there, waiting. He took the toothy pliers and softly, almost with a gesture, told me to open my mouth. So I did.

Then he latched the thing on a wisdom tooth. Good, because that meant I wouldn't need to get surgery to repair it, but the flip side was it would hurt a hell of a lot more. Oh, well.

The slight twist almost had me in tears already. Then I felt his hand holding my forehead firmly in place. I barely registered his soft voice. "Here we go."

OUCH. No. That's an understatement. A big one, at that. He started pulling, and I thought he was gonna rip my whole head off. I managed to open my eyes and find his, and realized I was drowning in the sea, painted red by my own blood. The metallic taste became nauseatingly obvious. I tried hard not to scream, but I don't think I succeeded. Andrei was too damn good at his job, after all.

And then it was over. Except it still hurt like hell and then some. I looked at him yet again.

"Well, I must say, not everybody can do that, boy. You barely made any noise, compared to our whiny baby here." He pointed at the waiter, who was sitting against the headboard of the bed, eyes tightly closed, hands trying too hard to cover his ears, leaving blood everywhere in the process. The sight calmed me somewhat. He had it oh-so-much-worse. I was on the right side of the fight – even if that didn't mean the good guy's side. Oh, well.

"It still hurts," I managed to babble, my own blood dripping everywhere. So much for wearing a nice suit. Whatever.

Andrei reached for the drawer full of syringes and handed me something. The antidote to the serum. Actually, a quite strong opioid painkiller. It was about the only thing that could counter the serum, but that didn't mean it wouldn't work for a simple toothache. I took it and fidgeted with it a bit, trying to decide if I could do without it. Andrei interrupted my train of thoughts. "Hey, you already got through the worst part. No need to be in pain for the rest of the night, Sasha. Take it."

I shook my head. "For now I'm good, but thanks. I'll take it if it gets worse." Or so I tried to say. It came out as a bloody babble – literally.

"Sasha, I didn't get a word of what you just said. I know you have a thing for pain, but for hell's sake, take it. Don't try to be such a bullhead." Yet he knew better than to rely on words alone. He took the syringe from my hand and stabbed the needle into my neck.

I soon felt the soothing chemical running through my veins – and in a few minutes, the worst of the pain was gone, leaving only a soft ache behind. "Okay, you were right, this is better."

"Definitely. I can even understand you now." He laughed.

The Ball (10) - Standard Protocol

Our waiter was completely horrified. His little mind, used to the peacefulness of dealing with rich idiots, couldn't start to grasp the nature of our sickness. He was pathetically cute, sobbing and trying to understand what was happening. How could something like this happen – not even to him, just happen. "Please..."

Andrei let the gun fall noisily and drew a knife, that steadily found its way to our man's throat. His voice was velvet soft. "So. We took a bit of a risk with you. Usually, I know your lives almost by heart. But I know nothing about you. Tell me. Do you have someone who will miss you?"

The broken man shattered yet again. Realizing it's not only about your very life, but that the lives of those you leave behind will change forever... that's heart-breaking. He started mumbling nonsense yet again.

"Hey, my friend. I can't understand a single word you're saying. ... I asked you a simple yes or no question. Anyone who cares for you?"

He couldn't talk, but managed to nod.

Andrei didn't bother to try to hide his smirk. "That's too bad, huh? Not because they'll miss you. And, today I'm feeling nice, so neither because I'll go after them. No, it's bad 'cause we have to make sure they never find you. Last time I didn't make sure of that, man, was it a huge headache for everyone."

Our man froze. Disappearing was far worse for everyone involved, the doubt of nobody ever knowing if you've just run away, or got kidnapped, or... who knows.

"Now comes the fun part of the story. Huh? We have a sort of a standard protocol for this kind of stuff. It's quite easy. Cut off everything that can be easily recognizable. Fingertips. Teeth. Bash the head in so they won't identify you. Thankfully for everyone involved DNA testing is too expensive to do on a consistent enough basis."

It looked like our man had given up hope, and was just waiting for the knife to cut into his throat. ... Poor guy. If only.

Andrei kept smiling like a maniac. "Ho, boy. But I skipped the best part. You get to live through all that, huh?" He shifted his arms, dropping the knife right at my feet and fully immobilizing our guy. "Sasha, if you'd be so kind as to slice off his fingerprints, huh?"

I had been expecting this, of course I had. But that didn't make it any better. Stupid me, to think this would be just a 'let's mess around' night. To think that it could end in anything else than a literal bloody mess. Oh, well. I had made a promise to him, and to myself. And I wasn't about to break it.

I took the knife from the floor and grabbed the guy's hand, blade ready to cut into his fingertips. Andrei stopped me for a second. "We have the whole night ahead of us. Make sure it hurts, Sasha."

Shit. Oh-kay. You won't get me to fail you. Not this far down the road to hell. I let the knife dig into his flesh, slowly tearing a good chunk off. The whole fingerprint. His blood ran through my hands, painting them red. And I felt it. The call, the need for more. I couldn't help smiling widely as I slowly cut the other nine fingertips. I didn't even hear his screams anymore. Just saw his blood paint everything in red, and Andrei's eyes, a glistening void. This was my life now. And I had chosen it.

Eventually, it was done. No more fingerprints to ID him by. Andrei broke the newfound silence. "Did that hurt? Huh? Well, then get ready for some actual pain. Sasha. Second drawer. Toothy pliers." Toothy meaning the ones to pull teeth out. They latched onto it, and all you had to do was give it a slight twist and pull – pull really hard, of course.

I couldn't help grinning when I opened the drawer and saw them – perfectly clean. I got them and turned back to meet Andrei's stare. He too was beaming. He shifted again to hold the guy's mouth wide open. "Sasha?"

I smiled at him. "Of course."

"All of them."

... Shit.

The Ball (9) - Do you want to die?

After a good while, Andrei stopped me, just a gesture of his hand. I dropped the belt and tried to catch my breath. I never knew giving a whipping could be so exhausting.

But the night was still far from over, as our guy was going to find soon enough. Andrei handed me a knife. "Cut him free."

So I did. At first, I tried actually removing the tape, but Andrei stopped me. "Not now, Sasha. He'll lose too much blood. Maybe later." So all I did was cut the tape that wasn't glued to his skin – leaving the rest there.

Once done, Andrei circled him, sitting behind him, his face almost touching the waiter's, hugging him hard – immobilizing our guy in a sitting position, right on the edge of the bed. "Do you think this is over? Huh?" He smiled, waiting for an answer that he knew well couldn't come. "No, my friend. This has just started. Now, tell me. Do you want it to be over yet?"

The guy again nodded as is his life depended on it.

Then Andrei ripped the guy's tape gag and asked again. "I didn't hear you, my friend. Do you want to die?"

The waiter's eyes shut tightly. Finally understanding. It had all been a lie, there was only one way out, and it was Death itself. Tears started to run down his cheeks again. "P-please... I won't tell anyone..."

"Are you deaf now? Huh? I asked a simple yes or no question. I'm still waiting for an answer. Do you want to die?"

The guy couldn't answer, but he tried hard to shake his head. Idiot. Well, to be honest, it's not as if his answer could change anything.

Andrei kept pushing. His goal was clearly to get a yes. "Oh, well. Alright, then." His eyes locked on mine. "Sasha. Break his legs."

Oh-kay. I stepped forward and stomped on his knees, one by one, holding the legs extended with my left foot. The knee joints popped out of their place, bending in an unnatural angle. I managed to cover my ears as he was starting to scream – 'cause if you add the serum to the overwhelming pain of a knee bending backward, let me tell you – it's not something you can stand up to, even with a lot of training.

Once he calmed down a bit, he started mumbling actual words. "Oh, god, please, okay, okay, just kill me already... Please..."

Andrei drew a gun out of the waist of his pants and placed the barrel against the waiter's temple, softly grazing it. "You sure about this?"

I held my breath. I knew him better than to fall for it, but this wasn't his trusty revolver, always loaded to play Russian roulette – that old trick where he always knew where the single bullet was. This was the pistol – loaded to actually shot when needed. No safety net here.

The waiter had his eyes closed, and was sincerely pondering whether death was better than life – his whole body trembling of fear, terrified of death, scared to death of what life – us – could bring. He finally nodded.

Andrei whispered eerily into his ear. "Then say it. Beg me to kill you."

The guy started whimpering again. Deciding when in agony was one thing, nodding was another, but this... this was too damn much for the poor thing. "P-please... Please, man... don't do this... Please..."

It was painfully obvious that he couldn't say it even if his life depended on it. So Andrei pulled the trigger. ... But not before aiming the gun forward, so all the guy would get was a loud bang on his ear, probably a burst eardrum – but not a bullet through his head. Oh, well. I told you I knew he wouldn't.

Our guy let out a scream, then he realized this dead thing wasn't so bad – or rather, he wasn't dead at all. He looked at me, puzzled. He'd... heard the gunshot, right?

I smiled at him. "My friend, you don't get to die yet. And definitely, not like that. Bang and it's over?" I shook my head. "Do you really think Andrei is such a nice guy to do that?"

The Ball (8) - Pain in a bottle

Andrei leaned back and reached for the bedside table's drawer. That's when I realized this wasn't a random room. He had this planned all along, one way or another. He handed me a small syringe, full of a white liquid. Serum. "Okay, then, let's do this. Show our friend, will you?"

I nodded as I reached for it. Yeah, the night had just begun for our poor guy. Oh, well. I held the needle right in front of his eyes. "Hey. Do you know what's this?"

He shook his head as best as he could.

"Long story short, it's pain in a bottle. More specifically, it makes your nerves far more sensitive. So, anything else will hurt like hell." I stabbed the needle in his neck and proceeded to push on the plunger.

He winced hard at the prick, but then relaxed, seeing that the pain didn't come. That is, until Andrei hit him with the belt – fully extended, the buckle acting as an extra weight for added impact. The guy's scream, even under the gag, threatened to blow my eardrums.

I looked at Andrei, wordlessly asking for instructions. He pointed at the guy with his head, and I understood perfectly. Keep playing with his mind. So I turned his head again to meet his eyes. They had turned into puddles. I got even closer, my own eyes inches apart from his, while I softly caressed his hair. "Do you think that hurt?"

I glanced at Andrei for a split second, and the second hit came. The same scream. But seeing it up close was different. His eyes closed for a full second, and when they opened, they were full of fear – not anymore for his life, but for what was left of it, for what we could do. I couldn't help smiling. "Let me ask again. Do you really think that's the worst we can do? Hm?"

I got up and went to get more serum. That had been one CC, but we could go oh-so-much-further. Five, ten CC weren't unheard of. Though most people without... proper training were barely able to stand just one. That was the point of it. Get past all their physical limits, so their mind would follow – into madness. Into hell.

I almost cursed out loud when I opened the drawer. It was full – not only of serum, but I also saw crystal. The fancy new drug, engineered to cause physical pleasure – thing also acted on the nerves. Together with the serum, the pain was... something else. ... And we had a drawer full of both. In a hotel. ... Yes, Andrei could have definitely been the devil himself. 

I took a silent deep breath before grabbing a couple more serum syringes and going back to our guy, again my eyes mere inches apart from his, my mask back on – was it still a mask? "You've had one CC. Now, what happens if I give you another one, huh?" Again I gave him a shot.

Andrei waited a few seconds for it to act, then hit him again with the belt. This time our waiter didn't manage to scream, but his agony was painfully obvious in his face. Good.

"Fancy a third one? Hm?"

He shook his head like his life depended on it.

Andrei ignored him. "Do it, Sasha."

So I gave our guy a third shot. But the whipping didn't come. I looked at Andrei and understood. It was my turn. So I took the belt and hit him – hard. Again and again, without even stopping for him to take a breath. I lost count of the times I hit him. It didn't matter. It didn't matter at all.

The Ball (7) - Whore

We got back inside. Our man was still by the door, almost like a trembling mannequin. A battered up one, at that. The whole image was truly pathetic. He was softly whimpering and mumbling to himself, and... well, I've already told you what he looked like. A broken, puked on mess. I really needed to do something about that stench.

I grabbed his arm and led him to the shower. He followed, lost in his own mind. I shoved him in and turned the water on. The poor thing started whimpering harder at the touch of the cool water. I didn't have the patience to wait for it to warm up, honestly.

After a couple minutes I realized the stench wouldn't get out of his shirt – not without a proper wash, anyway – so I simply ripped it all out, which made him cry harder.

I noticed Andrei was leaning against the bathroom's door frame, but I ignored him. The damned stench was still there, and it was starting to make me nauseous. I tried to find some soap to see if it would work, but Andrei stopped me, handing me a knife. "You'll want to take off his pants, too. It honestly smells like our friend also shat himself." His grin was there, wider than usual. "But, don't cut the belt, Sasha. We don't have any more." Our black tie suits meant no belt, indeed.

I sighed before cutting off his pants. Yep, the stench was now much worse, which meant Andrei had been right. I covered my nose, partly mocking the guy, partly trying not to puke. "Take that shit off and wash yourself, man. I'm not cleaning up your shit, you know." I forcefully turned him around and took the knife to his throat. "Are you even listening? Clean up. Or else."

He started whimpering loudly but did as told. Andrei signed me to follow him and leave the guy to his cleaning – which honestly was a great idea. The fresh air of the room was definitely something else.

Andrei sat casually on the bed, staring at me, wildly grinning. "So, what are you willing to do, Sasha?"

I couldn't help smiling. "Anything, Andrei. Anything you want."

He was delighted by my answer. "Show me. Make me proud. Tear him to shreds and then some."

I nodded.

Our guy finally got out of the bathroom, covered in a towel after realizing he couldn't really wear his waiter clothes anymore.

I laughed at the sight. Poor thing. Oh, well. As Andrei says, life's not fair. "Hey, man. Come here." I patted on the bed. "And drop that towel, we want to see what you have to offer."

"P-please..."

I went up to him and torn the towel from his hands. There was nothing to actually laugh at, but I laughed all the same – I had to put up an act, the truth didn't matter anymore. "Oh, boy! Look at you! Is your family from Asia, or something? Well, don't worry, it's a good thing we're not girls for you to try to pleasure – else you'd be pretty much doomed!"

Andrei was openly laughing at the dumb teasing. "Maybe he's the girl, huh? I'm no expert, but I can't really see a big difference." Okay, I laughed out loud at that one. He got up and close to us – to our waiter. "What do you say, huh? Are you our little whore?"

Oh, shit. I totally saw where this was going. Andrei grabbed the guy and brutally threw him onto the bed. The poor thing crashed hard, and was now trying to make sense of what had just happened, trying to get up, when Andrei drew a roll of duct tape out of a drawer – Seriously, what the hell was it doing in a hotel room? – and threw it at me. "Tie him up, Sasha. I'll hold him."

So I did. Legs together, bent over his belly and firmly secured there, arms crossed on his back, and an improvised gag – his constant whimpering was starting to get annoying. Removing all that tape was going to be hell – for him, anyway. It seemed like the kind that manages to get stuck and rips out chunks of skin at a time.

Andrei dragged him to the edge of the bed and then sat beside him, turning the guy's head so he'd see him. "Do you know what happens now, my little whore?"

The guy started crying harder, but the tape gag muted most of the noise.

Andrei let out a creepy smirk, as he softly caressed the man's head. "I'm gonna fuck you up." Without any more messing around, he got up and unzipped his pants – but he wasn't all that hard yet. ... You see, for him, his dick was merely just another weapon. ... A quite big one, if you ask me. Anyway, he had to give it a soft massage before he could actually get started and... fuck the guy up.

And I truly mean up. You see, with me, he tended to be somewhat gentle – we were only playing games, a controlled environment in his own words. This was different. This was real life. And he could be a real beast if he wanted.

Even with the gag, the guy's high-pitched screams echoed in my eardrums, at moments threatening to blow them up. I couldn't help staring. It was a nightmarish sight – but it was also eerily beautiful. The beast that got its prey. Nature at its finest. Except this wasn't a TV documentary on wildlife, this was my boss fucking a poor waiter. ... I didn't see such a big difference, if you ask me.

Before I knew it, it was over. Performance wasn't on the script – as with all weapons, it was the end result that mattered. And you didn't exactly need hours for that. A few minutes were more than enough to tear anyone's soul apart. ... And their asshole too. As Andrei took a deep breath to relax, I realized he had blood all over his thing. Shit. No wonder the guy had been screaming like a girl.

Now our waiter was silent. Fully realizing what he'd gotten into – or so he thought. I knew better. This had just started. We had a long night before us, and our guy had a lifetime of hell – or, well, what was left of it. Hopefully. Though, knowing Andrei, he might as well let him go, and remember. Shit. No wonder so many people sworn he was the devil himself.

Andrei sat and looked at me, beaming. "Hey, Sasha. It's alright, I won't ask you to do that, I know you too have had quite the night." He paused for a moment, so as to stress his funny joke. "But the night is far from over, isn't it?"

I smiled back. "It has just begun."

The Ball (6) - Hotel Room

Andrei sighed loudly. "Why do you care so much about everyone? If he's greedy enough to accept it –"

I cut him off. "Well, it's not like you actually gave him a choice, you know."

He had that smirk of his in his eyes. "I thought it was you the one who said there's always a choice?"

Yeah. The choice of 'I'll die before I do this'. And thinking of it, that's what got Key killed. I sighed hard at the thought. No. That had been my decision. That part of the past was over, dead and buried – this time for sure. Andrei realized what he'd said.

"Oh, shit. I didn't mean–"

Again I stopped him. "It's not that. It's... I'm gonna need a better reason for this, Andrei."

He sighed again. "Why do you keep wanting to get hurt, Sasha."

"It's not even that. Andrei, do you have any idea on what you're doing? To them?"

He looked into my eyes, and again I saw the glistening void, the devil himself. "And how would I? Sasha, you don't seem to get it. It's impossible. How will you know about true fear, if you know too damn well you have nothing to lose? How will you know about their pain, when you've gone through a ton of serum and didn't break?"

No. NO, you're not getting it. "I've been there. I..."

He laughed. "You, who would rather die than leave, think you can grasp what's to fear for your life?"

He wouldn't understand. Right? I let go – I pretty much had to as we heard a knock on the door. Our waiter.

Andrei rushed to open it. "Now, why on earth did I give you a key card, you idiot? Let me think – maybe it was so you could open the door all by yourself? Huh? Now, get a chair and sit. You came at the wrong moment. Sasha, come with me."

He led me to the balcony. We had taken off the suit jackets when we got into the room, and so, the night wind felt chilly against the thin shirt. He drew me closer to him. "Make me proud and I'll give you what you're asking for. Deal?"

"That's not–"

He cut me off, his eyes now mere inches in front of mine, his hand under my chin so I couldn't look away, his voice the eerie whisper I had come to both love and fear. "Or leave. Call it a day, go home. Your call."

I closed my eyes and let my head rest on his chest. Man, he was warm amidst the cool night air. "Okay. Deal."

He had that smirk of his when he pulled me apart. "Okay, then. Let's do this. Make me proud, my boy." He winked playfully. Shit. "Oh, and Sasha. We're not in public. Don't be afraid to go too far. There's no such a thing, anyway."

... SHIT.

The Ball (5) - Lies

Andrei then came to my side and, after making sure the zipper was in place, gently guided me inside – to the service elevator. Out of everyone's view. He soon started chattering about what a good job I'd done, but the only thing I could do was get into his arms and drown. He fell silent when he realized it.

The elevator ride was only two or three stories long – I lost count after the first muted ding. It was only when the doors opened and he let go of me to get out, that realization hit me like a brick. "Andrei... you're not gonna keep your word, are you?"

He looked at me, a devilish grin in his eyes. "Nope."

I sighed a tad too loud, I guess. What had I been expecting? A million for a night? Seriously? ... Not even Key was that generous – and that was saying something. And she was a woman of her word. Andrei was the exact opposite. They say the devil's a liar, after all. Shit.

He lifted my head so my eyes would meet his, now radiating cold. "Do you mind it, Sasha?" He stopped me from stating the obvious. "Lie if you have to."

SHIT. I hated this game with my whole being. Even knowing it was a lie – it takes something to say certain things, doesn't it? ... "No. No, I don't mind."

- - -

Service stairwell, 11pm.

The man was in complete disarray. His shirt torn apart, letting in sight a crudely carved wound – a foot tall X, still bleeding lightly. That was not the worst of the sight. He had puked all over himself, so, when a waiter came by him, his first reaction was to cover his nose, and his second, to call security. Our man tried to hide, but soon realized it was pointless – as soon as the waiter greeted him.

"Hey, it's you, man! I almost mistook you for a hobo, looking like that! Whatever happened to you, man?"

Our man had started to cry again. "No-nothing, I swear. Listen, I– I gotta go."

"Sweet Christ, man, that's not nothing. Do you want me to call the police, or something? ... Seriously, what happened? I'm sure I can help you out of whatever it is!"

"... No, no, seriously... I... I'd rather not... not risk..." His voice trailed off.

He was trembling from head to toe, the waiter noticed. Then his eyes managed to lock into the man's chest wound. The waiter stopped in his tracks – sure, that had to do with the mob. And yeah, his partner was right – sometimes calling the cops is the worst idea you can have. Or so he'd heard. "Alright. You know where to find me if you change your mind."

Each of the men continued on his previous tracks – our man hoping for the other to realize that, indeed, calling the cops would probably get him killed. Or worse. He'd used to think death was the worst that could happen – that night he'd realized how wrong he'd been about that.

And yet, the nightmare had barely started.

The Ball (4) - Going Down

Andrei grabbed our waiter again and put him on his feet, back tight against the low wall. "So, boy. What are you willing to do, huh?"

He was about to cry. "What the fuck do you want from me?"

"Shhh... keep your voice low. The correct answer is Anything we say. Now, say it."

Our waiter hesitated for a second, 'till Andrei took a knife to his throat, pushing hard enough for it to hurt.

That seemed to convince the guy. "A-a-any... anything you– you say."

"Good. Say, was it that hard?"

The guy's look made it clear that yes, it was that hard.

Andrei stepped back and handed me the knife. No need for words. He'd done the convincing part, now it was my time to play. I glanced at him, then stared at our waiter. Tears raced down his cheeks. Fear. Power. Our drug of choice. Time to get high.

I couldn't stop myself from smiling. "Get on your knees. I don't want you tripping and falling down, you know."

He slowly knelt. Andrei took the chance to get behind him and gag him with his hands, then pointed at my knife. "Carve his chest."

Out of script? Maybe. I didn't really care at that point. I tore his shirt open and sliced a big X on his chest. He kept wiggling to get free and scream, but Andrei was way stronger, so our waiter didn't stand a chance.

I knelt in front of him, meeting his eyes. "You'll do as we say. Or else. Think ten stories down is a bad way to go? Think again. ... Think that hurt?" He barely nodded as I paused for an answer. "Then you have no clue on what pain actually is. That much I'll tell you. Now, try your best not to scream, will you? You don't want everybody to see you like this," I said, getting back on my feet and once more unzipping my pants. "Now, open your mouth and be quiet."

Doing it wasn't the worst for him. No, the worst hit was Andrei stepping aside, taking out his phone, and recording all of it. Of course, not before making him fully aware of it. Our waiter was now crying in silence, as I made sure he chocked on me and puked all over himself. The stench didn't help – but it was the price to pay for his fear, his desperation. That's what Andrei had asked for, and what I would deliver.

It took me a while. I was already spent from before, so I really had to focus. But the midnight sea came to the rescue. I was fully conscious of what I was doing, on where I was, but I was not self-conscious anymore. I had this. Andrei was there for me. My glass of water in hell. I felt it coming, slowly but surely. And I drowned in it.

Bang. I was aware enough to do it right – all over our poor waiter, who definitely wasn't expecting that ending. Then my head started to spin wildly, so I had to step aside to briefly recompose myself. I barely overheard Andrei give the guy a room number and a key card – apparently, we had been in a five stars hotel all the night. I'm not good at charity balls, okay?

The Ball (3) - The Waiter

Andrei turned around, quickly scanning the rooftop. A few people here and there, minding their own businesses. Then he pointed his chin at the waiter. "Make him a good offer. Let's see what you can do."

"Goal?"

He put on that smirk of his. "Break him. Tear him apart."

I sighed loudly. Shit. I knew well I had to, but... "Andrei, you know... I... I could use a reason."

He sighed too. "You're completely nuts, Sasha. Why."

I couldn't help a soft smirk. "You know why."

Silence. He looked at me for a second before grabbing my left hand and deliberately rolling up the sleeve. I was just staring into his eyes. The midnight sea, faintly glowing under the moonlight. Resignation, maybe. The certainty that this was my price for following him down the road to his hell.

I was too lost in the sea to see anything else, to notice the knife in his hand, so the sudden pain on my wrist got me. I couldn't help a low scream from escaping my mouth, my eyes darting to the deep red gash for a second – nothing too bad, but it was bleeding quite a lot. Oh, well. So much for trying not to make a mess.

Still in silence, he proceeded to roll down the sleeve. The cuff fell exactly on top of the wound, staunching the blood quite fast – and turning crimson red in the process. He looked back up at me once he was done. I saw a frozen sea for a split second, right before he pointed once more at the waiter with his chin. No words needed. I really had to. I couldn't disappoint him.

I took a deep breath before heading where the guy was. Following orders. Yes, that's definitely what I was doing. There was no way out after all. Right?

"Hey sir," I approached him, "my friend there would like to offer you a job. "

"Well, I'm flattered, but I already have a job, you see."

"Well, I have the gut feeling that he's willing to offer quite a big sum." I didn't want to give a number by myself. "It only takes a few seconds to check out, man."

He followed me back to where Andrei was standing, as always leaning casually against the wall. He does have a thing for doing that.

"Hi, sir –"

Andrei cut him off. "Name's Andrei, my friend."

"Sorry, everybody around here expects me to call them sir, you know. Anyway, your... friend said you had a job for me?"

"A million dollars for a night."

"WHAT?!"

"Take it or leave."

"Wait, wait. What... kind of job are we talking about? I'm not about to do anything illegal, you know."

"Sasha here will tell you what it is about, huh?" Andrei looked at me, clearly saying 'I'm not gonna do your job, my boy'.

Nor I expected him to. "Well... we just want to have some fun, man. Nothing illegal, really. Just mess around a bit, you know, we're... feeling kinda lonely."

"The hell does that even mean? ... Look, I told you, I already have a job–"

I shifted gears into negotiating mode. "Well, listen one more second, okay? ... Tell me, how much do you make in this? ... The place seems nice, so, let's say, a hundred thousand dollars a year. Which to be honest, is quite a lot, I'd say real numbers are closer to half that, but let's leave it there, for simplicity's sake. So, at a hundred thousand a year, it would take you ten years to make what you can make in just one night. ... Still wanna leave?"

He looked at me like I was out of my mind. "Nobody offers that for…"

"Well, this is not your everyday job, you see. Let's give it a quick go, okay? You can change your mind after my little test."

Silence.

I patted gently on the low wall. "Sit on here, will you?"

"What?... It's too high, man. I... look, they'll fire me if I take too long of a break–"

Andrei cut him off again. "A single night or ten years' work. More like twenty. Are you sure you wanna leave? ... Hop on the wall and sit."

I held his hand as he clumsily climbed to the waist-high wall, a fall of ten stories behind him. He was trying really hard to not look down. Maybe he was scared of heights, or maybe he could read our intentions.

Whatever, I put on a smile – the work mask had come to come up naturally. "Look back, man. It's quite a fall, isn't it?"

He stopped his silent mutter to interject a tad too loud. "Fuck, what the hell do you want from me?"

For a split second, he looked like he was gonna get down and leave us, but Andrei stopped him, grabbed his arm, and sorta pushed back – just enough to make his intentions clear. "Keep your voice low, I'd rather not make a public mess." He glanced at me. "Grab his legs, Sasha, I don't want him accidentally falling."

I secured them under my armpits, pushing his butt back in the process. If we both let go, he'd fall. He let out a muted curse as he realized that.

Andrei pushed further back, making the poor guy stand over thin air. He glanced at me – he was willing to help, but I had to take the lead.

So I did. Or at least I tried. "Quite the fall, isn't it? ... Listen, here's the deal. You'll do everything we ask – or else."

"Look I– I have changed my mind. I don't want your fucking money, I want to go back to serving drinks to rich people."

Andrei was grinning hard. "If only it was that easy, right? But it isn't. You don't get to go back – you've already seen too much. Now there are only two ways for this to end. One, you end up with a million bucks. The flip side is, you'll earn every single cent of it, I promise. Or two, you're dead. Ten stories. You'll reach the ground alive, and die of the impact – if you're lucky."

I pushed further back, stressing Andrei's words. Smiling candidly. "Well, knowing Andrei here, falling it's not a bad way to go. Only takes a few seconds, and then it's over. Could be worse, man."

He was completely white, eyes tightly shut, muttering something I couldn't understand.

Andrei smiled again. "Sasha is right, you know. We could make it oh-so-much-worse."

"Who– who the hell are you." He managed to say.

Andrei glanced at me quickly to make sure I was holding him tight, then he let go of the guy's arm to draw his ID card. Then he seemed to realize that the guy was hanging just from my arms, and grabbed him by the shirt, and finally the collar, to pull him up. "We're Detentions, boy. This is the kind of stuff we do. We're good at making people cooperate, you know. Now. Last chance, and I swear I mean it. Anything we ask, or fall to your death."

He barely managed to nod, but I guess Andrei thought it was enough, 'cause he pulled him forward. The poor guy didn't manage to land on his feet, crashing instead onto the rooftop's floor. Oh, well. Better than a ten stories fall, that's for sure.

The Ball (2) - Dinner

By 9 pm we were at the most boring party I've ever had the displeasure of assisting to. The dinner was kinda good, but I was too worried about not getting any of it on the suit to actually enjoy the food. You see, the damned suit wasn't the real problem – getting it soiled in front of all these people was.

It was quite late when we finally got to the rooftop, leaving behind the awful music and the noisy chatter. The soft wind and the cool night made the suit a good choice. Andrei led me to the low-walled edge, and I couldn't help but to look down.

"Ten stories. Quite the fall, isn't it?" He said, hugging me from the back and immobilizing me against the waist-high wall, his voice almost a whisper against my ear.

I knew too well he was just messing with me, so I figured I should play along. "You gonna ask me to jump, or what?"

He laughed softly, his hand keenly reaching for my inner pocket. I barely noticed it, 'till the sharp knife caressed my throat. "I don't know, Sasha. Should I?" The amusement in his soft voice was too damn obvious. Just a silly game. As always, until it isn't.

My breath started to rage as I closed my eyes, grabbing the edge of the wall as if my life depended on it, knuckles steadily losing their color. I tried not to drown into the sensation, but man was it a hard task.

"What do you want, Sasha?" He teased me as he noticed my reaction.

"Do it," I whispered back.

He smiled softly. "Well, we can't really make a mess here, can we?" Yet the edge of the knife dug faintly into my skin, almost a too harsh caress.

I took in the feeling and drowned on it. Heaven, hell, who cares. This was what I was there for. Yet it wasn't enough. It never is. "That's barely a scratch."

"I told you we can't make a mess, didn't I?"

"Screw it all, Andrei. Do it."

"So, you wanna fool around, huh? What are you willing to do, Sasha?" The grin in his voice was obvious – and so, I realized this was the reason he'd brought me to the party. So he wouldn't die of boredom, indeed.

"Anything."

He quickly glanced around to check for curious cats, but apparently nobody cared about some guys talking a bit too close to the edge. In a split second, the knife had disappeared from his hand, only to be replaced by my own hands. He softly led them down, stopping right at the pants button. Shit. Words weren't needed – what he wanted was obvious enough.

My heart was racing as I opened the button, and then the zipper. Then the knife appeared in his hand again, tearing my underpants open with an accurate flick, freeing my dick from its prison. Fuck I was hard.

His breath hitting my neck had me sold, but he still said it. "Have fun, Sasha."

I knew well he had everything in control, I knew nobody could really see what was happening, but still. Being so exposed and completely in his hands made me really self-conscious. And horny. So I grabbed the thing and started jerking at it. First slowly, but then everything sorta started spinning and I lost all sense of time and place, and just let go, drowning in his embrace.

Right until I heard his voice again. "Don't soil your pants, you don't want everyone to know what you did, do you?"

No. I guess. I didn't care about anything anymore. Except I did. Shit. The very thought... Bang. Oh, well. I finally opened my eyes and looked down. There was a mess in the wall, but it looked like my pants were clean. I sighed, letting my head rest on his shoulder. "Holy shit, man."

He laughed softly. "Do you think this is over, my boy?" He shoved me forward against the wall, and with another hand flick – the knife had appeared yet again – cut another gash into my underpants, this time in the back.

The feeling of his hand against the bare skin made my head spin again, but what got me back up was its obvious course – like a river, that twists and turns around the mountains, but always ends up in the sea, so his hand, his finger, ended up, first around, then in, my asshole. And I got hard again. Oh, well.

"Close the zipper. Trust me."

I had no clue where this was going, but I did as he asked. And only then I realized. In. Shit. SHIT.

"Let go."

I tried. But I was too damn self-conscious. And there wasn't nearly enough room in my pants. "Oh, shit, stop it, Andrei."

His hand stopped abruptly. "... You want me to stop?" He said, every word calculated to hint at the correct answer, but still offering the choice – leaving it in my hands.

"Goddammit, just play along, you know what I mean!" I said a little too loud.

He laughed softly. "You almost got me, my boy. Alright, I'll play along. After all, you're always telling me to not let you go, right? Well... no need, there's no way out, is it?"

"Oh, shit..." Everything was spinning again, and his constant murmur only made it worse – only made me harder, mind you. I wondered if someone had ever broken a zipper with a boner. I totally could see it happening.

"No, you know there isn't. You know you like this, or you'd actually stop it. Now, you know how this ends, don't you? ... Come in there. Come on. Do it for me."

Bang. Crash.

He hugged me, hard. He knew well I needed it.

"How." I managed to say while trying not to drown in his arms. In the night sea. How on earth can you do that, you psycho. No need to say every word, he got it with just the first one.

He took a few seconds to answer. "Are you up for another... lesson? A test?"

Shit. I totally knew where it was going. "I'm up for an answer."

"I can't really explain it with just words, you know. Sasha, look at me."

I tried hard to stay afloat as I shifted around, but the sea was quite unforgiving that night.

"You know you don't have to, but I honestly think you could use a lesson. You shouldn't have to ask that question, you know."

Silence. My eyes said everything. I can't. I'd rather not. Shit. I can't say no. Not even for you, for myself. Shit.

"What exactly are you willing to do, Sasha."

It too took me a few seconds to answer that one, my mind still debating over it, yet knowing well the battle was long since lost. "Anything. Just ask."

His soft smile sealed the deal. "That's my boy."

The Ball (1) - Black Tie

As usual, I knocked on the door to Andrei's office.

"Come in. Oh, it's you," he said as I opened the door and got inside. "Look, there's a ball tomorrow evening. Sorry, not the fun kind, boy," he added before I could say anything. "Charity event of sorts."

I looked at him with a mix of annoyance and worry. "You know I hate social events, Andrei."

He almost laughed. "Yeah, so do I. That's why I would like you to come. So I don't die of boredom. Or worse." … Or mess it up.

I sighed. "Count me in, I guess."

"Thank you, Sasha. I'll make sure everything is ready tomorrow."

- - -

It was early evening when I visited him the next day.

"You're early, Sasha," he greeted me with a soft, warm smile.

"I'd have come later if I didn't know better," I teased back.

"I guess you have a point. Anyway, I got you a proper suit, it's in the closet inside." He pointed his head to the safe room beneath his office.

I opened the closet to be greeted by a premium-looking suit bag. I carefully opened it – and couldn't help cursing. He always made me wear a suit – usually navy blue – but this... this was something else. Black tie event. Shit. What kind of charity ball was this? And why did we have to go?

I felt him leaning on the door frame, so I turned around and met his amused smirk. "You don't like it?"

"I... wasn't exactly expecting this kind of...." I trailed off.

"Well, we have to look like everyone else, or we'll draw too much attention."

I took a breath before taking the plunge. "... Andrei, is this any sort of mission?"

"The only goal is to not mess up. So... I guess, no?" His constant grin was making me nervous. Seeing him in such a good mood, when I knew for sure he hated public events, was creepy as hell. Did he have something in mind? Who knows. "Anyway, get dressed, or we'll be late."

I laughed at the joke – I had been quite early – as I got the thing on. It fit like a glove, but that didn't make me hate it any less. And the actual bow tie had to be pretty tight to sit in place. ... He usually didn't make me wear anything at the neck – which considering his obsession with suits and whatnot, was quite a-something.

I was looking in the mirror, trying to decide if I looked gorgeous or totally out of place or both, when he slipped a knife into my inner pocket. I looked at him, wordless in my confusion. He'd said this wasn't a mission, so I had assumed that'd mean no weapons... right? ... Wrong.

"You never know, Sasha. Better safe than sorry."

"I just hope they don't have metal detectors," I joked.

His grin widened considerably. "Well, I hope they do."

Rain

I went to the shower room -- Sasha had been in the shower for a good ten minutes already. I slightly shifted the curtain and popped my head in. He was still half green. The goddamned paint wasn't easy to clean, at all. "Need some help?" I stepped in without waiting for an answer. The cool water soaked me in seconds.

Sasha let out a loud sigh as he energetically rubbed his chest. "It doesn't go."

I couldn't help hugging him from behind. There was something about the kid, something that changed everything. "Are you okay? Huh?"

A chill went down his spine, making him shake a bit. "I don't know." He let his head rest on my shoulder, his throat carelessly exposed. Trust. "I can't help thinking. Have I ever had a choice? Or has my life always been, you know, a railroad of sorts?"

I smiled at the silly idea. "There's always a choice, isn't it? But, does an addict have a choice? Sure he can quit. But can he? … I'm not the one holding you here, am I? You know, our work is like a drug."

"There's no way out, is there?"

"Well, I can offer you a way out, Sasha. For real. But, do you want it?"

"It always--"

I cut him off, knowing too well where he was going. Same place as always. "I'm not her. I wouldn't do the same. Wouldn't bring you back. Do you really want out? Just say it."

"No, I don't."

I couldn't help smiling sadly. "It's not about work, is it? It was her who pulled you back, not the work. And now this is about me."

He didn't say anything.

"You're completely nuts, Sasha."

He smiled softly. "Look who's talking."

"Do you think you can trust me?" In a split second, I grabbed his forehead with my left hand. The right quickly drew the knife in my pocket, gently letting the edge rest against his throat.

He couldn't hide a slight shudder. "You know I'm trusting you with my life."

I couldn't help sighing. "You like this, don't you?"

He managed to nod, softly enough to not get cut. "You still don't get it, do you? … Well, I tried my best to explain. I can't do better."

"All I understood was that you're completely nuts, kid. Say. Ask for it."

He didn't hesitate, didn't think twice. "Kill me."

Shit. It would have been a welcome change, if this was about a job, and not about his goddamned life. I let the knife slide across his throat. Sharp enough to graze into the skin and draw some blood. It promptly got washed away by the now warmer shower.

He clenched his teeth to bear the pain, but said nothing. Knowing well I could, knowing well I wouldn't.

I turned him around like a puppet, shaking my head. Not really in disbelief, just... Shit, the kid was a complete nutcase.

He looked at me, like only he does. Everything in his expression told me he wouldn't have minded. He'd rather die than leave. "What did you expect. What do you want."

I couldn't help smiling as I caressed his cheek. "You know what I want. Your soul. Say it."

Something appeared in his eyes as he took a breath. Determination. "I've told you. Take me. Take my soul. Don't you ever let me go."

Shit. I hugged him again. Hard. "I won't. I swear it."

He hugged harder. He meant every single word. Shit.

"Wait a sec, will you?" I finally let go of his arms and ran to the shower room closet. Good thing we were in the upper floor one. It being so close to my office meant nobody would freak out at the closet's contents. I found some handcuffs in one of the drawers. I threw them at Sasha. "You know what to do."

"Why not do it yourself, huh?" He teased me.

I couldn't help smirking. "You know why. Also, I'm still searching for something." … Something I quickly found.

He was fumbling with the handcuffs – the first hand held properly in place. Yet the shower head was a bit high for him to reach and lock the second cuff. I reached up and helped him – locking him for good. There was a hint of apprehension –of fear– in his eyes. It's not like he could beat me even in a fair fight. But I guess there's always something unsettling about not having any kind of chance.

He sighed in annoyance when he saw the neon green rag I had brought.

"Hey, you're still greenish." I laughed, before gently cleaning him. The soft rag did wonders – there wasn't even a need for a harsh soap. The silence that ensued wasn't uncomfortable. I'm guessing he was simply trying to feel something, and I was honestly too busy trying to get the green paint off. I finished and went to leave the rag back in its place.

"I hope you don't think that was funny." Yet there was a slight smile in his voice. I came back to meet his eyes. Fiery. Yes, he thought it was actually funny.

I caressed his cheek again, this time getting almost too close to him. You too deserve niceness, kid. "What do you want, Sasha."

His voice was almost a whisper. "I want more. Of everything."

I let my hand run down his chest, playfully teasing him, before letting myself fall to my knees.

He stopped me. "You don't have to."

I couldn't help laughing. "Funny. That's the same thing I told you the first time you did this, remember?"

He sighed. "You know it's not the same."

"Maybe I too want to be nice, you know. You deserve it, don't you think?"

"You really don't have to do this, Andrei."

I got on my feet again. I grabbed his chin, forcing him to look into my eyes. "Ask for it."

"Why are you doing this. I'm telling--"

I cut him off, the knife again against his throat. "Ask. For. It."

He sighed yet again. "Okay. Okay, do it."

The knife fell with a muted thud as I knelt again, and went down on him.

Last Stand (4) - Fall

"Again."

Shit. Shit. No. Not again. "I can't," I whispered back.

"Look at me, Sasha." Andrei paused for me to shift around and meet his eyes. "I'm asking you to do it. You said you'd do anything I asked, didn't you?"

I can play that game too, you know. "You want to go through that again?"

He laughed hard. "But look at you, Sasha. I'm so proud of you." I would have sworn he was the devil himself. "No, I'd rather not, thank you. As you know, it's not a pleasant experience. But I'd love to see you do it."

Shit. I couldn't help sighing hard. "You're completely nuts, Andrei. You know, you remind me of her." ...  of Key, of course.

He laughed at the idea. "She used to do the same, didn't she? Yet you never had a problem going after her."

I sighed. "It was different, you know. Just a game, just messing around, nothing serious."

"So, like this. You know, you have to mess it pretty badly for it to turn into something serious."

Shit. "You sound exactly like her, Andrei." Which I had come to think, wasn't exactly a good thing. I had realized they were much more similar than I would have liked to admit.

He managed to keep the grinny mask on, but something in him changed. "That's why you're here isn't it?"

Shit. He was good at words too. You see, it requires a special kind of person to play that game -- to still keep control when you can't really do anything.

"Look at me. You still care too much about everything, Sasha. That boy who would rather be a plant is still there, isn't he?"

I interrupted him. "I care about you, you know."

He closed his eyes, his smile vanishing."You think I don't care about you, boy? ... You know I do." He opened his eyes again, but the sea had frozen. "That doesn't mean I can't get over it and do what I have to."

I couldn't help hugging him.

"You think it doesn't hurt? Huh? Well, news flash, yes it does. I care about you more than you seem to think, Sasha. But I can't -- I won't let that stop me from doing what's necessary. I need you to do the same. To get over yourself and do what you have to do. Kill that kid already. Take my hand, I'll be your guide on the road to hell."

"You don't get it. I'd rather die than hurt you."

He sighed, almost giving up. "You're an idiot. I don't deserve that, you know. I deserve everything you can throw at me and then some. And you know it."

"So what."

He sighed again. "Okay. Oh-kay. Help me with the cuffs, will you?"

I quickly freed him, and he rushed to hug me. "I'm sorry, Sasha. I know I'm being hard on you. I just... You care too damn much about everything. You can't afford that in this place. You're too nice, don't you see?"

"I just care about you, that's it. I'm trying to get over myself with the targets, I swear. But--"

"But it's not the same with me." He pushed me back to look into my eyes. "Question. And be honest. They -- the US, the wolves, a madman, whatever. They get us both. They soon realize I'm not saying shit, so they turn to you. And of course they're not idiots so they try to get you by hurting me. Badly. The wolves can be worse than me. Anyway. What do you do."

I sighed. "There's no point in fighting if you're not gonna make it."

"Sasha that's--" Treason.

"I know. But once you're not here, who's gonna fight your war? Me? What's even the point? They've won. So, live to fight the next battle. Rather than die and lose the war."

He sighed. "Had you ever thought of that?"

I couldn't help laughing. "It's what Key used to say. No point in dying needlessly."

"Well, I guess she had a point. Anyway. Look at me." As if I could look anywhere else -- he was about a foot in front of me, and still held me in a loose hug. "What do you want, Sasha."

I closed my eyes. "I want to be here. I like the place, I like the job. I want to be with you."

"Yet you're too damn nice to be here, Sasha. Don't you see. Not everyone is meant for this job. Not everybody can." He knew exactly what he was saying, of course. "Are you sure you want this? Because, if you do, then I have to tell you, the test is not over."

I dove again into his chest. "Don't let me go. I know I still have a long way ahead, but don't let me go."

"Look at me, Sasha." He waited for me to shift back. "What does that mean. Do you realize what it means? It's not just literal, is it?"

"I told you. Take me. Take my soul. Take everything. But don't let me go."

He hauled me aside with a half-smirk in his eyes, and went to search for something in his jacket.

He came back with two guns -- his lucky roulette revolver, and the fully loaded pistol for when he actually had to shot at something -- or someone. He carelessly spun the revolver's cylinder, and briefly closed his eyes before closing it, then he shoved it into my hand, before sitting by my side.

"Now, Sasha. This is a test. So, don't you fail me. I swear I don't know where the jackpot is." He pointed at the revolver with his chin. "Point it at my head and pull the trigger."

No. No I can't. You know well I can't.

He shifted closer to me and let the pistol's barrel rest against my temple. "Or else."

I looked into his eyes. It was like looking at a frozen sea. A vast plain of emptiness. "I can't."

"Well, I swear I can and will. So, one in six, or your life. Choose carefully." He wasn't trying to hide anything anymore, it was obvious that he didn't want to, that he'd regret it. And that knowing all that wouldn't stop him.

I closed my eyes. Shit. Did I have a choice? One in six wasn't that bad, was it?

Click.

I opened my eyes to find back his smile, the sea thawed and gleaming. The revolver scurried through my hands as a live animal. It fell to the tiled floor with a clatter. I couldn't bring myself to smile. I was still trapped in a mind loop, fully realizing what could've happened.

So he hugged me again, hard, almost taking my breath away. "Well done, Sasha. I'm proud of you."

"You're completely nuts, you know." I managed to say.

"Look who's talking." He laughed.

"Do you realize what you've done, Andrei?" I sighed. "How it feels?" I felt sick. Almost physically. Knowing that he could kill me was no news, but still hurt. But realizing... realizing I could have lost him... Fuck. No. I hugged him harder.

"I'm sorry, Sasha. Yes I know. I'm just trying to help. You need to let go, to get over your nonsense."

"Well, it only made me realize how next time I'm not doing it, and to hell with everything. I swear, I'd rather die."

"You can be such a drama queen, boy. One in six is--"

"You can't understand, can you?"

He sighed. Yes, he could. But he couldn't explain. He finally pulled back from the bear hug and looked into my eyes. "What are you willing to do, then." There was a hint of sadness behind his half-smile.

I sighed hard. "Anything that doesn't involve risking your life, you reckless fool."

He lightened up. "Okay, so let me see that." He reached for the handcuffs again, and threw them at me. "Will you help?"

"Why are you doing this."

"You said anything, didn't you?"

I sighed as I helped him, gently restraining his wrists behind his back.

He leaned back, looking at me, a playful grin in his eyes. "Okay, Sasha. Show me your worst. Make me regret this decision. Make me stop you."

I looked at him. My worst. So, tell me. How much do you care? Enough? I couldn't help grinning as I reached for his pistol and took it to my temple. "I've told you I'd rather die than hurt you. Stop me, or I swear I'll pull the trigger."

He laughed, but I could clearly see behind the mask. He did care. More than enough. "You're a cheating bastard, Sasha."

"Yeah. Now stop me."

He had a sad smirk in his eyes, not fully covering the realization that he, too, would do anything for me. "Okay, you win. Don't do that. Stop it, Sasha. And help me with the cuffs, will you?"

I tossed the gun onto the bedside table and hugged him once more, diving into his chest like a fish that's been a bit too long out of the life-giving water.

Last Stand (3) - War

The door locked behind us as I followed Andrei through a narrow corridor to the bedroom. He sat carelessly on the bed, patting at his side so I'd follow -- so I did. He patted my shoulder. "You care too much about everyone, Sasha. Let go. Let go already."

"I swear I'm trying. It's just..."

"It looks worse than it is." He looked into my eyes. "Say, do you know how it feels? Have you ever tried that one?"

I shook my head. I knew where this was going -- and I welcomed it.

"Would it help? Do you want to?"

"Do it."

He grinned widely. His excitement was obvious, but it wasn't filled with cruelty this time. He pushed me to lay onto the bed, and gently put the bag around my head, not yet covering it. "Do you trust me, Sasha?"

I couldn't help smiling. "With my own life."

He laughed at my words while holding my hands with a vice-like grip, before closing the bag, leaving very little air on it.

I immediately felt the low oxygen, the plastic clinging to my skin as I breathed in. I could see a hint of his gleamy eyes behind the light plastic, so I focused on that. This was nothing else than another test, and even though I had seen what the body does when in dire need of air, I was still willing to try to maintain control as long as possible.

Yet Andrei always knows how to get you by surprise. He pulled me up into his arms, my hands still trapped in his, and started talking softly into my covered ear. "How does it feel, Sasha?"

"It's... obvious there's little oxygen." I fought hard against the urge to tear it off.

"Let go. You can't win this." And he twisted my hands.

The unexpected pain made me snap, took all my self control away, and I started thrashing around. Except he held me tight, so I couldn't really move. My body wanted to fight, my every cell wanted to fight. Air. You don't know how hard can you miss it 'till you lack it. Yet there was nothing I could do, but to panic. And so I panicked hard, my brain ignoring the part of me that knew well that nothing bad would actually happen.

...

I opened my eyes to see him hovering over me, softly caressing my cheek. "Wake up, Sasha. I'm here. It's okay. I'm here."

I closed them again and hugged him, hard. I had passed out, I realized. I finally looked at him. "It's worse than it looks."

He laughed. "Yeah, I know. Say, do you want to try again?"

I looked at him, understanding. Realizing where this was going. "How. How can you do it."

He leaned even closer to me. "Do you want me to explain?"

In a moment of madness, I nodded.

He got up and went to search for some handcuffs, while I sat on the bed, uneasy, my heart beating hard. Could I? Shit. I knew I had to. He finally found them, managed to put them on with his hands on his back, and almost dived into the bed, grinning like a madman. "Well, you know what to do."

I stared at him. I couldn't. "You haven't explained anything, you know."

His smirk was cold and calculated. "Okay, okay. Say, how does it feel? To have everything in your hands? Feel it, Sasha. How does it feel to have me completely at your mercy?"

SHIT. I couldn't help sighing. "I... I can't do this." I crawled closer to him, almost hovering over him. "But I... I need to know. Say, what's the worst you could do? To me?"

"You know me. Do I really need to tell you?"

I nodded. "Yes. Yes, I want to hear it."

He seemed to think of it, still grinning, more of a mask than the real thing. "Well... that depends on what you've done."

"Your worst."

His grin vanished for a moment, only the cold, frozen sea remained behind. "Well... If you were to betray me... I won't lie to you -- I'll make you regret it. I won't have mercy on you just for being you. I... haven't really thought what would take to break you, but... I'll find it, rest assured of it." He finally let a hint of a smile show up in his eyes. "But I'm sure you're not the kind of idiot who gets there, Sasha."

No, of course not. And of course this wasn't news. But that didn't make it hurt any less. I knew--I knew well he cared. Yet he was a heartless madman -- who wouldn't think twice about hurting me. I sighed, hard. "You know, I can't do even this. When I know there's no risk involved. How? How do you do it?"

He sighed. "Look at me, Sasha. Didn't you say you'd do anything I asked? Well, then let go of your nonsense and put that damned bag over my head already."

I looked into his eyes. Have you ever seen the Void in the sea? ... I knew I had to. So I did. I sat on his belly so he couldn't move, and I gently put the bag over his head, tying the rim just airtight.

He still had that grin of his. "Now, Sasha. Feel it. How does it feel, huh? ... Let go. Don't take it out before I faint, or I'll ask you to do it again. Deal?"

I nodded, uneasy. It didn't feel as he thought it did. I knew well it was a test. I knew well what he was doing, and it only made it all the more distressing.

He ignored my expression, of course. "Well, that is, unless you want to do it again. Then go ahead, take it off before."

Goddamned bastard.

"You know what? Do it, Sasha. Do it. Make that decision for yourself."

... "So what if I indeed do it. Huh?"

He grinned harder, trying hard to keep control of his body, which had already started screaming for air. "Wait. No. You can do it again if you want, but don't stop. Feel it. Let go of the nonsense and feel it." He closed his eyes as his breath rate skyrocketed.

I reached for his heart -- much easier to find the pulse than in the neck, honestly. It was racing too. Shit. What if you have a heart attack, you fool. You aren't a teen anymore, you know.

But I waited, 'till it was quite obvious that he was unconscious -- his body still fighting, but his mind had given up. I quickly tore the bag off of his head. His breath soon was back to normal, his heart beating fast but not as if it wanted to jump out of his chest. I couldn't find the words, so I just petted his cheek, softly, caring.

He finally opened his eyes -- a couple seconds of a disoriented stare, followed by an extra wide grin, a playful gleam in his eyes that made me want to drown in them.

I hugged him, hard. He took the chance to whisper in my ear. "Again."

Last Stand (2) - Road to hell

It was early evening when we arrived at the safe house. A small apartment in a decrepit residential building, it looked completely ordinary from the outside. But upon opening the door, white-tiled walls and floor, and a harsh light, greeted you -- the standard furnishings of Andrei's safe rooms. The living room had been repurposed into an interrogation room, walls fully soundproofed. The only other door from the room seemed locked.
The target --the teen girl-- was sitting in a corner, black lines of teary mascara painting her cheeks. She looked at me. "Please, I haven't--"

Andrei cut her off. "Shut up." He grabbed a folding chair and put it in the middle of the room. "Sit here. NOW."

If I hadn't been on his side, I'd have been sincerely scared.

The girl was shaking as she got up and dragged herself to the chair. "Please..." Her voice trailed off, broken, shattered in the knowledge that her pleads were in vain.

Andrei quickly tied her to the chair -- she didn't even try to put up a struggle. She knew too well, fighting was, in the best case, a useless thing to do.

I took a second chair and sat in front of her. She most definitely wasn't eighteen. Oh, well. "Look... Do you know him?"

She nodded, a hint of hope showing up in her eyes.

I couldn't help smiling. "Then you know what's going to happen, don't you?"

"Please... I haven't done anything, I swear..."

"Honey, I don't get to decide what happens."

She swallowed, a nervous tear painting yet another black trail in her cheek, her voice slightly shaky. "One day you'll make a mistake and he'll go after you too."

"But honey, what do you think you know about me, huh?"

She pushed further, hopeful that it would lead her somewhere safe. Safer, anyway. "You think you're safe. You think you're different. You think it won't happen to you."

I laughed out loud. "Nope. I know well what you're talking about. I know him really well. I know well what he does. Like, firsthand. You see... He took everything I had. The only person I really cared about. She was my everything." ... Well. To a point, I guess.

She seemed shocked. "What happened?"

I forced a smile, trying to hide the dull ache. It still hurt like hell. "I killed her. You see, it was the price for being here. With Andrei. I like this place, this job. So, before you ask, yeah, it was worth it." ... Was it? ... Shit.

She looked down, maybe understanding. "Please, I did nothing..."

I was expecting Andrei to tell her to shut up, but he walked to her, grabbing her chin so she had to look at him. "You're a lying bitch."

She closed her eyes, terrified. "Please..."

"Open your eyes, damn it!" He grinned when they again made eye contact. "Why not tell him the truth, huh? Why not tell him why you're here?" He stepped away.

She started mumbling again. "Please... you have to understand..."

Again I sat in front of her. "I'll try, but you have to tell me your story."

"He set me up. I swear, he did--"

I smiled at her. "It's called a test. He does that, every single time. And I'm guessing you failed."

"Look, he... sent me to deliver a message. To a guy. But he wasn't there, there was another guy instead, who told me he worked for him. Showed me an ID card and everything. And I... was stupid enough to fall for it."

Andrei stepped in again. "You're skipping the part where you knew he was with the wolves. And the part where, instead of delivering the message, you started telling him everything you know, in hopes--"

"I swear--"

"Don't you interrupt me. I'm sick of your lies. That guy does work for me, of course he told me everything you did. What the hell were you expecting, anyway. A way out? Help from the wolves? You want to see how they help you? Don't worry, I'll send you there so you can check for yourself." He looked at me. "Sasha. Carve her face." He threw a folding knife at me.

I didn't -- couldn't say anything. I grabbed the knife and sliced an X on her cheek.

She cried in silence the whole time -- which considering how much it hurts, said a lot about her.

Andrei had that grin of his when I finished. "You're a damned snitch." He circled her, threateningly placing his hands on her shoulders. "Sasha, what do you think would be the fair thing to do, huh?"

I sighed. "Well... fair, fair... if we do this legally, I think we can charge her with treason. I honestly don't know how many years that is, but, I'd guess a good handful."

Andrei laughed at the silly idea. "That's a really good one, yeah. But I didn't mean that, you know, I don't really believe in the system, she'd be out way too soon. Plus... prison is like vacation. It can be annoying, sure, but it's not what I'd call a fair punishment."

She started sobbing and mumbling nonsensically.

Andrei ignored it and went on. "Say, girl, do you know what they used to do with the likes of you? Huh? What the mob still does?" He shifted his hands, immobilizing her, glancing at me. "Sasha, do you know what I'm talking about?"

I nodded as I leaned closer to her, putting up a smiley mask. "They make sure they shut up. Now, you can waste everybody's time trying to resist, of you can cooperate and I'll make it quick." I took the knife to her lips. "Open up. Don't make it harder than it has to be."

I still had to 'help', kinda prying her jaws open with the knife. I let the edge rest against the base of her tongue and looked at Andrei, expecting him to stop it. He'd say not to do anything that couldn't be patched up, after all.

"Do it."

Her cries echoed around as the knife hacked off her tongue. Andrei was fast to shove her forward before she chocked on her own blood. Still, she coughed, hard, red. I quickly found a rag and shoved it into her mouth, forcing it closed. The pressure would help in stopping the blood. She kept wailing the whole time, the shrieking sound muffled by the improvised gag.

It took a good five minutes 'till it kinda stopped -- stopped gushing furiously and started flowing lazily, anyway. I grabbed her bloody chin and made her look into my eyes smiling. "Sorry, gal. But you know how this works. I can't exactly say no, you know."

Andrei grinned at me. "Cut that crap, Sasha, you're here out of your own will." Then he circled her so she could look into his eyes, into the Void. He crouched before her, gently brushing her chin, her bloody throat, with his fingertips. "Now, girl, that's what everyone would do to a snitch. But, we're still missing the part where you betrayed me."

SHIT.

He kept talking. "Or you thought I wouldn't mind? Huh?" He stepped back and handed me a plastic bag. "Sasha. Show her what we do."

I couldn't help sighing, maybe a bit too hard, too obviously, as I took the bag. I looked at her -- the poor thing. She'd had more than enough. But it wasn't my job to decide what happened. I placed the bag over her head and closed it around her neck, just tight enough to make it airtight.

Andrei had been staring at me the whole time. He hugged me from the back, forcing me to take a step back, his voice a low hum that she couldn't hear. "Hey, Sasha. What's wrong, huh? You still worry about her, don't you?"

I put the mask on yet again. "I'm doing everything you ask, without any kind of hesitation."

"Yes, and you're missing the point. You have everything, Sasha. You have her life, her soul, in your hands. Feel it! Enjoy that feeling, boy!"

Shit. I couldn't find the words anymore. Yes, power was a drug, a cheap high. But I knew too well what I was doing to be able to look past it.

"Why do you care so much, huh?" He released me and went to undo the twist and take the bag off her head. She was already unconscious. He ignored it and went to unlock the door to the rest of the flat, signing at me to follow him.