I just found myself lying in the bed, eyes fully open, incapable of shutting my mind down. I closed my eyes as I realized he was there too, sitting beside me. I didn't know how to feel. I had thought I would feel liberated. I just felt empty.
I felt his arms wrapping around me, in a sweet caress. I hugged him back. And I understood. Key's death was just the price for this. I tightened my grip, I couldn't let him go. If that was the price, then so be it.
He probably felt my overly-enthusiastic grip. "How are you feeling, Sandy?"
"I..."... I'll miss her. No. NO. It's over. "Good." I smiled. "There's no going back now. So, good."
He hugged harder, almost taking my breath away.
- - -
A couple weeks later, I received a call from one of my informants at the hospital. I rushed there as soon as I was sure it would not raise suspicions. Sandy was out on a job, and would not be back for a few hours. Good.
My guy greeted me right before the room's door. "Hey, Boss. So, she's in pretty bad shape, but she's awoke."
She rolled her eyes as I opened the door. "Now you care about me, too?"
"Don't be silly." I joked.
She closed her eyes, not caring about her worries showing anymore. "Does he know?"
"No, and he must never find it. I'm sending you to a faraway place. You will NOT call me. I won't call you either. You'll be able to live your life away from this... place. You're NOT to draw unwanted attention. I'll offer you a job with some of my guys. That said, you'll be strictly following orders. Don't mess this up, or you know what happens."
"So, where's that faraway place?"
"I was thinking... I know a guy in South America. Colombia. You'll probably like him."
She smiled sadly. "Guess I can do that."
- - -
I kept having those damned flashbacks, reliving all the good times over and over. It was somewhat easier when he was around, especially since he'd been really nice to me since that day. The handful of jobs he gave me helped in keeping me distracted. But I couldn't work 24 hours a day.
It was late at night when he finally came home. "Hey. How are you."
"I... Shit. I can't get over it. I keep having those flashbacks."
He sat beside me, took my hand. It made me feel a tad better. "That's normal, Sandy. You don't... you don't lose someone and get over it in a day. I know what she meant to you, kid. I know what you truly did. And that's why I couldn't be more proud of you." He hugged me.
"It hurts. A lot."
"I know. But, look deep inside, and you'll find something else than pain."
Yes, of course. Deep inside, I was proud of it, of having conquered myself, but that didn't make me forget about her, didn't make it hurt any less. I hugged him harder. I knew he couldn't understand. I didn't care.
