Death (9) - Scorched Earth

I'm not sure of how we arrived at Andrei's place. I was deeply lost inside my own mind, replaying over and over what had just happened. Torn between the euphoria of having passed the worst of the tests, and the realization that... she was no more. I felt empty inside. Sick, in more than the literal sense.

I just found myself lying in the bed, eyes fully open, incapable of shutting my mind down. I closed my eyes as I realized he was there too, sitting beside me. I didn't know how to feel. I had thought I would feel liberated. I just felt empty.

I felt his arms wrapping around me, in a sweet caress. I hugged him back. And I understood. Key's death was just the price for this. I tightened my grip, I couldn't let him go. If that was the price, then so be it.

He probably felt my overly-enthusiastic grip. "How are you feeling, Sandy?"

"I..."... I'll miss her. No. NO. It's over. "Good." I smiled. "There's no going back now. So, good."

He hugged harder, almost taking my breath away.

- - -

A couple weeks later, I received a call from one of my informants at the hospital. I rushed there as soon as I was sure it would not raise suspicions. Sandy was out on a job, and would not be back for a few hours. Good.

My guy greeted me right before the room's door. "Hey, Boss. So, she's in pretty bad shape, but she's awoke."

She rolled her eyes as I opened the door. "Now you care about me, too?"

"Don't be silly." I joked.

She closed her eyes, not caring about her worries showing anymore. "Does he know?"

"No, and he must never find it. I'm sending you to a faraway place. You will NOT call me. I won't call you either. You'll be able to live your life away from this... place. You're NOT to draw unwanted attention. I'll offer you a job with some of my guys. That said, you'll be strictly following orders. Don't mess this up, or you know what happens."
 
"So, where's that faraway place?"

"I was thinking... I know a guy in South America. Colombia. You'll probably like him."

She smiled sadly. "Guess I can do that."

- - -

Couple weeks after... she passed away, I was at Andrei's place, pacing around. He was quite late from work.

I kept having those damned flashbacks, reliving all the good times over and over. It was somewhat easier when he was around, especially since he'd been really nice to me since that day. The handful of jobs he gave me helped in keeping me distracted. But I couldn't work 24 hours a day.

It was late at night when he finally came home. "Hey. How are you."

"I... Shit. I can't get over it. I keep having those flashbacks."

He sat beside me, took my hand. It made me feel a tad better. "That's normal, Sandy. You don't... you don't lose someone and get over it in a day. I know what she meant to you, kid. I know what you truly did. And that's why I couldn't be more proud of you." He hugged me.

"It hurts. A lot."

"I know. But, look deep inside, and you'll find something else than pain."

Yes, of course. Deep inside, I was proud of it, of having conquered myself, but that didn't make me forget about her, didn't make it hurt any less. I hugged him harder. I knew he couldn't understand. I didn't care.

Death (8) - Decisions

I made the mistake of sending Sandy to pay a visit to Key. You see, I needed a file from her, but I figured she was still mad at me, so sending the boy seemed like a sensible idea.

Not an hour later, they both came see me. More like, she barged into my office, dragging the poor Sandy along. She took a deep breath, visibly upset. "Now, can you tell me what the hell have you done this time?"

"Key, dammit, how many times I have to tell you, I asked for it!" Sandy yelled at her.

I looked at her, dead serious. Her attitude annoyed me to no end. "First, it's none of your business."

"If you tell me that one more time..." She interrupted me, barely containing her anger.

I sighed, trying to avoid the upcoming fight. It was always like that with her. "Calm down. What are you exactly going to do, anyway. It's not like you haven't already tried. And lost. So get over it, Sandy gets to make his own decisions, whether you like them or not."

"That's a pile of bullshit. You..." There was something in her eyes. Something dangerous.

I pressed the button. Her ring's trigger. It knocked her out. I signed at Sandy to help me move her to the safe room. Tied her to a chair. I could easily keep her under control, but I didn't have to take risks. Her attitude wasn't helping anyone.

"Sandy. Convince her to stop being such a blockhead, will you?"

He still had a long way to get to where I needed him. Facing her was another step in the right direction.

He awoke her. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.

"Now, will you at least listen instead of yelling at me, Key?" Sandy crouched before her, in an attempt to be friendly.

She sighed. "Do I have a choice?" She was still visibly angry at the world, but being in a rough spot did wonders to her bad temper.

"Not really, you know. Anyway. I've told you. It's my life. I don't work for you anymore, so stop telling me what to do."

She was about as hard-headed as a rock, but that didn't mean she couldn't adapt. She took another deep breath. "Sandy. Listen to me. Okay? ... You know it. You know where this path leads."

"Yes." Sandy's voice was cold as an iceberg.

She sighed once more. "And that's it? You don't even care anymore?"

"Oh, I do care," said Sandy. I saw his smile. The kid was good at this. "But... I've told you, I'll do whatever he asks." He grabbed her chin, his eyes locked on hers. He drew a knife, gently placed it against her throat. "Even if it means I have to kill you."

Damn if he wasn't making me proud of him.

She couldn't help closing her eyes for a second. Trying to keep up the fight. Idiot. Why the hell did you have to be such a bullhead? ... She opened her eyes again. Cold as ice too. "Then do it already. You know that's what he wants of you."

"Sandy." I stopped him. "Take a step back. Now."

He reluctantly did, though he was clearly not expecting this. I went on to explain. "You do that - you'll have to take on her job, since I don't really have anybody else. I'm pretty sure you won't like that, it's mostly paperwork these days."

She too was confused, but decided to play along. "That's true, Sandy. It's been days since I did some real work. It's driving me crazy."

"Sandy. Wait outside, will you?"

He looked at me, visibly puzzled. Yet he managed to keep up the facade and simply nod at me as he left the room.

"Kid has got himself a character, huh?" I smiled. 

She had dropped the mask. "Why did you stop him. Why do that for me."

I couldn't help smirking as I circled her. Time to have fun. To be honest. I planted my hands on her shoulders. Gave her a little soft caress. I felt her shiver. Good. "I'll be blunt, Key. I didn't do it for you, I did it for him."

"Now you tell me you care for him?" She scorned.

I let my voice become a terrifying whisper. "Will you stop being a jerk for once in your life, Key? Anyway. Don't get me wrong. There's nothing I'd like more than to see him kill you. But, the thing is, I don't want him to do it for me. I want him to do it for himself. Then... I've lied to him. There won't be a price." If I have to be honest, I kinda lied. Well, I just skipped the part where I didn't really want her dead.

She froze. "You're a sick bastard."

I laughed as I untied her hands. "Now go and let the kid live his life, will you?"

We both froze as we opened the door and saw Sandy, with a gun pointing at her head. She closed her eyes, visibly shaken. We all say we're not scared of Death, until you look at it in the face. Then your whole view of it changes. Every single time.

Sandy could have been an iceberg. He looked at me. All emotions well hidden under an impenetrable mask. "What's the price."

Holy. Shit. I was not expecting this. I tried to keep my own mask in its place. "I've told you. Office work, at least until I manage to find someone else willing to do it."

He took a step forward, placing the barrel against her forehead. I couldn't read him, at all. He was the very image of a faceless doll. Key was frozen. Else she could have easily done something. But she didn't. I froze too as I heard the loud bang. She collapsed onto the floor, dead. He had done it.

My face turned white. "Holy Shit, Sandy." And my heart, that one that wasn't there in the first place, broke as I saw him smile. Holy shit indeed.

Death (7) - The Ring

"Well... That explains quite a few things, Andrei."

He looked down. Silence.

I smiled, trying to lighten the mood a bit. "I mean, like your obsession with the suits. I hate those, you know."

He grinned at me. "Well, Sandy, you have to look presentable. If it were up to you, you'd look like a hobo." He teased me.

"Hey, it's not that bad!"

"Well... quite close, if you ask me. I think you're better than that, boy."

I looked down, not sure on how to ask the obvious. "May I... Ask a question?"

"Ask away, Sandy."

"You admire that guy, don't you?"

He looked into my eyes. I again saw a glimpse of the Void, though this time mixed with gloom. "He made me what I am, Sandy. I'd never be here if not for him."

"Key always says you're not your past, but your decisions. I think she's right. I could make the choice and leave this..."

He laughed at me. "But, could you?"

I sighed. "You know what I mean, Andrei. Thing is, I don't take that choice. Neither do you. You're not the past. You're what you decide to be."

"Well, I would have never decided I wanted to be in this hell if not for him." He grinned. "Anyway... I need to get something."

He came a few minutes later. "Here. You wanted this?" He offered me a small jewelry box.

"Holy shit! Are you gonna ask for my hand, or something?" I joked.

There was something else in his smile. Something I could not pinpoint. "Open it."

I opened it. A ring. ... No, not a finger ring. The other kind. Shit. He had a thing to always chose the worst possible moment, completely disarming you in the process.

"You want it or not?" He grinned. He knew the answer, of course he did.

"Do it."

- - -

A couple days later, Andrei had sent me to ask Key for a file. I opened the door to her office. "Hey. So..."

"Come in." She said without looking, too absorbed in her work.

"Key... Andrei wants to know how long will that take. He needs it ASAP."

"I'm working on it —" She froze in horror as she looked up and saw me. I guess I looked like I was in pretty bad shape after the other day. "The hell has happened to you, Sandy?"

"Life has happened." I shrugged.

She stood up with such rage that she knocked the chair down. She grabbed my arms before I could react. "It was that bastard, wasn't he?"

"Key. Listen to me, okay? It's not his fault. I asked for it."

"That's a pile of bullshit, Sandy. You don't deserve this." She stared at me for a second. Then she practically tore my shirt open, grabbed the chain. "What's this."

"I'm telling you, I asked for it all. Like, literally."

She turned me around like a puppet and pulled my shirt up, revealing the recent wound in my lower back. The ring. "You telling me you asked for this?" She seemingly hadn't heard a single word I had said.

"I'm telling you, Key. Yes. It's my fault. It's my life—"

She didn't listen. She grabbed my hand, and pulled me out of her office, toward Andrei's.

Death (6) - Andrei

"Hey, so, you never told me. What brought you here? How did you end up, you know, in the Agency?"

"That's one long story, Sandy."

A smile crept into my lips. "Well, I think we have time."

"Well... technically I should go to work. But to hell with it. Paperwork can wait."

I smiled in response, as I twisted and turned around a bit so I could see him.

He sighed, trying to recollect his memories. "Well... I was never an exemplary kid. Always on my own, never really had any friend. But it all took a turn for the worse when my father got himself killed. ... I've never dug too deep into it, but as far as I know, he was doing stuff for the mob. I guess a rival family killed him."

"That's why you're hellbent on destroying the mob?" I looked into his eyes. He had that grin of his, but it was cold this time. Sad, even.

"Nah. That would grant a bullet, a few at most, not a full all-out war. Anyway. He was the one who brought the money. Once he was gone... we had nothing."

His grin was now gone. "My mother struggled to make ends meet, but she never really managed it. In those days, I always went hungry to bed. I soon started stealing. At first minor stuff, you know. A sandwich from this kid who had two. Some money from that uptight man. Whatever. I tried to do it nicely. But... sometimes I got caught, and I soon learned to fight back. I figured it was the only way to avoid a beating." His lips curved into a smile, but his eyes were full of gloom.

"Guess it... makes sense." I managed to say. The story was not important anymore, seeing him like that... it was heartbreaking.

He kept talking, though it was clear it was not easy for him to open up. "Time made me go further and further. Soon I didn't try to play nice anymore. Scaring the people into giving me money was easier than staying undetected." Those glistening eyes again. I thought I had saw a hint of regret before, but now it was gone. "I also dipped my toes into the mob, doing minor jobs here and there. It all got me arrested a few times. Last one... okay. Wait. I should show you, that one got into the newspapers and all."

He got his phone and searched for the old article. A kid, probably underage, had been badly beaten up. I looked a him, waiting for the inevitable explanation. 

"Yeah, it's not a nice pic." He joked, but his somber eyes betrayed his words. "Yes, that was my first kill. I... two days before, the idiot had ran to his brother when I had politely told him to give me his money or else. The brother was a beast, he beat me up pretty badly. That day, I saw him alone. I don't know what the hell I was thinking, I just sort of went into a frenzy. Beat him to death. Thing is, I didn't realize there were quite a few witnesses, so I got sent to that place again."

I kept listening. It was hard to see him like this. Broken.

"I was about fourteen then. I was expecting the same as always. The same idiot counselors that just told you how your actions hurt people. That sort of moralizing nonsense. But this time was different. The guy was none like the others. He was in a suit, for a start." His eyes lightened up.

"So that's where it comes from." I joked. He almost always wore a suit, and kept insisting I had to wear one too. I hated them with a passion, but he didn't really gave me a choice.

"Well, I've always respected those who can rock a suit, but... no, that part comes later." He smirked, for a split second back to his usual self. "Well, thing is. He showed me the newspaper. I told him everything. And then he went and offered me a contract. A full time job, at the Agency. Didn't pay too well, at least during the training, but it included food and lodgings. I didn't have to think it twice."

"And your mother?"

He closed his eyes for a long second. "I honestly don't know what was of her. I was angry at her, I always thought she was the cause of our misery, so I mostly ignored her. I didn't thought of her when I got into this place, you know."

"So... how was the training?" I decided to move on.

"Hell." He smiled, as if hell was the best thing ever.

He made a long pause, trying to figure what to tell. "As in any other training plan, I guess. A strict schedule, and some creative punishments for those who didn't follow the orders to the letter." He sighed. "Screw it. This is what he did, over and over." He grabbed my hand, ran it through the back of his head. It was invisible under the hair, but obvious to the touch. A thick scar, clearly a brand, in the shape of an x.

I looked into his eyes, realizing where his obsession with the marks came from.

"As for the training, at first it was mostly physical stuff, but soon enough it became apparent that there was something... not right." He now had a half-sided smirk in his face.

"Like?"

"Well... we started practicing with dummies, but sometimes they were... a little too real. Anyway, we kept ignoring those things, knowing well that saying anything was not a good idea. And then... " And then his smile was gone again, bitterness taking its place. "I think I was like sixteen by then. Three of the guys had had enough and tried to escape. I... I'll never forget that day."

I just stared at him, curious about what was it that broke him.

"The instructor called the rest of us to his office. Led us to the safe room beneath it. He had rounded up the three guys like human livestock. Blindfolded, hands tied... you know the stuff. He made us sit on the floor right before them. And then he killed them. Cut their throats. Their blood splashed everywhere."

I swallowed hard. Not really at the scene, but at him. It was obviously painful for him to retell the old tale.

"And then he just told us something along the lines of 'that's what happens if you mess up', and left. The worst was, from that day on, they didn't bother with the false dummies anymore. It was painfully obvious they were... people. And it was painfully obvious we couldn't really do anything about it."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah. He kept pushing us farther, though. Soon we were doing... actual interrogations. Real files, I mean. I think at least three of the guys killed themselves when they saw what the man did." A smile crept up to his lips, a hint of shine was back in his eyes. I think I know who wore a suit too. "The man could have been the Devil, if you ask me."

I couldn't help to smirk at his remark. 

"Though, I soon started liking the job. For the first time, probably in my life, I felt... in control. I had power. It did not help that the man knew well what to say to... lead us forward. He kept praising me. Telling me how I had a future there. And... Well, I guess I fell for it." His grin was now obvious.

I bit my tongue. Someone had obviously learned much more than how to torture and kill in that place.

"I was like eighteen when I was called to the Head of Detentions' office. Long story short, he said he had been watching me work, and felt I could fit in his department. And so, he signed me a contract. And that's how I ended up working in this place. Skip a few years, and he got seriously hurt in one mission and thought it was time to retire. He called me again, and offered me the position, and as I guess you can figure, I accepted it."

Death (5) - Wounds

I awoke sluggishly, turning around in the bed, not really realizing where I was, just the weird thought that something was not right. I felt my whole body aching, even flat out burning with pain in some places. My back was by far the worst.

Still half asleep, I tried to recall why would all my body hurt. And I had a sort of a flashback: his eyes. Far wilder than I had seen them ever before. My mind snapped into reality, the night before as a flash in front of my eyes. I couldn't help a smile as my back throbbed. I hadn't given in. ... My will hadn't, at least. I could not remember the ending. Guess I'd have to ask.

I sat up on the bed, looking around. The big room in Andrei's house. Was that good or bad news? ... I didn't really care. I winced at my back's pain. Had it ripped, or something? It hurt a lot and a half.

I was thinking whether to go find a mirror or wait for him, when the door opened.

"Speaking of the Devil." I greeted him.

He smirked at the joke. "How are you feeling, Sandy?"

"Well, my whole body aches and my back feels as if I had been thrown into a fire pit, but other than that... fine, I guess. ... Andrei, I was meaning to ask you... what happened? ... I mean, I have no clue on how I got here."

He sat on the bed, a friendly smile in his eyes. "You're such a bullhead, you managed to black out."

My chest got full of pride. "So, does that mean I won?"

"You silly, I could have awoken you and keep trying." His eyes let show a glistening hint of cruelty. "But I figured you had had enough. Brought you here. Figured a hospital would attract  too much attention."

"You sure I don't need a doctor? ... My back feels in quite bad shape."

"I already fixed you up, Sandy. You just need some rest, okay? Say, you want drugs?"

"I'm fine, Andrei. I've been through worse."

He rolled his eyes, dismissing the idea. "That doesn't mean you couldn't use some pain relievers, you know." He leaned on the bed, beside me. I stared into his eyes. They were warm, friendly.

I had a sort of a flashback. That night. I saw the Devil himself in his eyes. I couldn't help smiling at the huge difference. Night and Day.

Guess I was inside my mind again, 'cause I never saw him move, I just felt his hug, making me snap back into reality. "I'm sorry, Sandy. I shouldn't have done that. That said, I have to tell you, I'm really, really proud of what you did. Not everybody can pull that off."

I hugged him back, as hard as my aching body and my burning back let me. "It's not your fault, you know."

He pulled back. "Sandy, seriously. Stop trying to justify everything I do. Look at you. Sure it will heal, but right now you're a mess, and I was the one who did it."

I didn't respond. I knew he wouldn't listen, so I let it go. Just took his hand, and leaned back onto the bed. My back burned with the fury of a wildfire. I couldn't hide a wince.

He saw it and went for some meds, kept insisting 'till I took them. "You'll feel a bit better in a minute, trust me. There's no need to go through that, boy."

He sat back on the bed, his back against the wall, slightly slouched. Comfy. I couldn't help but to curl against his chest, as a lazy cat who just wants some heat and company for his nap. He petted my head as if I was indeed a cat, and I felt really tempted to purr. Too bad it was one of those things I never learned to do.

Death (4) - Pain

"Play with me." I whispered, almost to myself. "Take my soul."

"You don't have to do this, you know." Andrei's voice was back to normal.

"Please... make me Feel..." Alive, I guess is the word that I couldn't find.

A hint of creepiness appeared again, even though quite subtle. For now. "Why, Sandy. Why do you keep wanting to get hurt."

"You know why."

My heart started racing as he drew a knife, let it glimmer before my eyes, softly letting its edge rest against my throat. "Yes, Sandy." He was back to his hair-raising murmur. "You like this, don't you? ... You want yet another test. But one of these days, this is going to get out of hand and you'll get hurt."

"I'd trust you with my life, Andrei..." I managed to mutter.

He sighed. He couldn't really be trusted, could he? I got a chill when his breath hit my neck. "So this is your version of 'let's see what a bullhead I can be'. Fine. I'll play along. I'll make you stop me."

I fell to my knees as he freed me from his vice-like hug. I couldn't help staring at him. He too was soiled with blood. He walked to the girl and tugged at her, ripping her skin from the hooks, then coldly threw her aside as if she was a broken doll.

"Get up." He was dead serious now.

I complied, visibly shaking.

He looked into my eyes, and yet again I saw the Void, but there was something else. I also saw bitterness. "Stop this, Sandy. Stop it before you get hurt."

I couldn't help but to smile. Yes, I would get hurt. So what. There was no other way forward. "I won't."

He sighed again a second before he harshly turned me around, grabbed my hands behind my back, the too thin rope digging into my wrists. "You think you're more hard-headed than me, Sandy? ... News flash, you're not. But, if you want to go through hell, I won't stop you." His voice was low, almost a whisper, but it was cold as ice, not the usual grinning murmur. It made my heart skip a beat.

He brutally dragged me below the hanging hooks. Then untied the big rope, lowering them. "You're going up. Or, you can stop this now. Your call."

"Do it."

He circled me, took the knife to my chin so I had to look into his eyes. The Void, again. His creepy grin, his ghostly murmur. "Ask for it." No matter how many times he dismissed the idea as silly, I had the feeling that he was indeed the Devil himself.

"I already told you to do it." I smiled. The direness of the situation gave me strength. I knew I couldn't win, but I would put up a good fight. I'd give him that.

"Words, Sandy. Say it."

Shit. He sure knew how to disarm me. "Hook me up." My voice trembled.

He ripped a hole in the back of my shirt, exposing the skin below so he could put the hooks in there. "This is going to hurt, Sandy. Ready?" He didn't wait for an answer.

I felt a sharp pain as the first of the hooks pierced my back - grabbing much more skin than I had grabbed from the girl.

He noticed the deep breath I had to take, the lowest whimper I didn't manage to hide. "Told you this was going to be Hell, Sandy." His voice was now calm, but not without a hint of bitterness just below the surface. "I'm not gonna repeat myself over and over. You want to stop, you say it."

I felt his pinch on the other side of my back. Again, much thicker. I clenched my teeth, getting ready for the sharp wave of pain. But it didn't come. Not sharp, anyway. I just felt the tip of a needle, slowly but surely applying more pressure. It soon hurt, badly. I clenched my jaws tighter, trying not to wince too hard. I had been through worse. Or so I thought. The pain kept increasing. He was doing this one slowly. Soon I started whimpering.

Eventually, the hook went through. I was in tears by then. I may or may not have screamed a couple times.

Again, he made me look into his eyes. That grin again. "You ready for this?"

And I knew. I had to. Failing him wasn't an option. "Do it!"

Oh, boy. He tugged at the rope. In a split second, I was in the air, suspended only by two huge meat hooks pierced through my skin. Adrenaline was nowhere to be seen, the pain so overwhelming that I let out a scream.

The rope still in his hand, he looked at me. "Stop this, Sandy. It will only get worse."

But I had this. The worst of pain is always the first wave. If you can stand it... the body soon shuts up. "Show me." My voice was now completely calm. Yes, I had this. Or so I thought.

"You're nuts, Sandy." He tied the rope, and violently cut the rest of my clothes, nicking my flesh on purpose a couple times in the process.

"Come on! Show me your worst!" I said, way too sure of myself.

His eyes gleamed, full of cruelty. And then, out of the blue, he slapped me in the face. Hard. Taking all my determination away. His voice was ice-cold. "You really think you can win at this game, boy?"

He went to the cabinet without waiting for an answer. I froze when he turned around and I saw what he had picked up. His grin unfaltering, his eyes... I can't even describe them anymore. My heart started racing.

But I didn't knew how bad it was 'till I felt the first lash of the short whip on my skin, as the metallic blades attached to the tip hacked their way into my skin. I let out a scream.

"Stop it already, Sandy." His voice was steady as a rock, his grin, his eyes...

I could not fail him. "I won't."

"Your call, then."

Next lash was to the face, one of the blades almost hitting my eye. I winced at it, screamed again in pain. And again, and again, over and over as the lashes kept coming, pain overwhelming my senses, I could only see his eyes anymore, glistening, deadly, making me realize he would not hesitate to kill me.

But not today. That day, I mean. Eventually, he stopped. Ready to move on to the next thing, his eyes said just that much. "Sandy, stop it already, dammit. You'll get hurt."

Silence. I couldn't even hear his words anymore, I couldn't answer. I didn't even realize he had tied my feet too. I just felt his hug. His foot between mine. And the sharp pain that burned at my back as he climbed onto me, as the hooks now supported not only all my weight but also his. It was too much, even for me. And I blacked out.

Death (3) - Trance

I sat on the bed, just staring at her. The flying doll. Her sexy dress really added to the whole doll look.

She took a few minutes to finally get that screaming wouldn't get her anywhere, and then just started sobbing.

I gently took off her dress - as gently as I could, considering she was still in the air, and wasn't really in the mood to help. She was just perfect, other than the handful of scars that adorned her body. I traced a couple of them with my fingers, making her shiver, before taking out the knife once more. Yet again I rested it's tip against her neck.

This time she didn't have the strength to say anything anymore. She was practically in shock. I had to get her out of her trance. I slowly ran the knife down through her skin, from her chin to her belly. A shallow cut, barely skin deep, just enough to snap her back into reality. She started whimpering, again mumbling nonsense. Good. That was better than silence.

The door opened abruptly. Andrei. Who apparently couldn't keep his word. He was grinning, as always.

"What the hell are you doing here, Andrei. I thought you had said you wouldn't so much as look?"

He pat my shoulder. "Well... Of course I couldn't help looking, Sandy. And since you were doing such a great job... I had to come and see it firsthand. I'll just sit in a corner and stay quiet, I promise."

I tried to focus back on the girl, but the madness, the trance, had been shattered. Now I knew for sure, yes, this was another test. I took a deep breath. I had to go further.

"Hey, honey. Look who came to see you." Shit. Why the hell did he have to come? ... Still, I had to do this. I Had To. I tried my best to sound confident, to hide the slight tremble in my voice. "Aren't you happy? Didn't you say you like him?" The grin finally came back to my eyes. "Well. Let us walk you to hell, then."

She kept sobbing, not really hearing me anymore. The whole suspension thing had taken a huge toll on her sanity. I mentally glanced at Andrei. Her state couldn't stop me. I took a deep breath and went on to slowly carve a big x on her back - this time in deep cuts, to the point it started bleeding quite a lot. All she did was whimper pathetically.

I was so deep inside my mind, thinking on what the hell could I do next, that I jumped in place when Andrei hugged me from my back, his hands like vices clamping onto my arms.

"Holy shit, Sandy. Look at what you've done."

It was his usual eerie murmur, but this time it was full of pride - for me. I couldn't help closing my eyes. His strong grip almost hurt, making me clench my teeth.

"Now, don't let her bleed out, boy." His hands slowly but surely crawled up to my shoulders. "Kill her." His grip ever tighter, my heart skipped a beat as he went on, his voice ever so more disturbing. "Let her blood taint your soul, Sandy. Let go."

I went into a trance as his hands let me free. Andrei could be a master of words when he tried. For the last time I made her look into my eyes, raising her chin with my hand. She was still mumbling nonsense. Guess she hadn't heard him. I slowly raised the knife to her neck, and in an even slower motion, cut through her throat, letting her blood soak me, always staring into her eyes. I saw the flame smothered, life turned into ashes.

I closed my eyes. No matter how many times I saw it, I would have sworn I'd never get used to it. I felt his arms wrapping around me, this time a soft, lovingly caress. Still in a trance, I let my head fall back into his shoulder as his embrace got slowly tighter.

"Feel it, Sandy. Let it drown you." He softly guided my hand, the knife, to her belly. I couldn't do anything other than watch as the knife cut into her abdomen, as he let it fell to the ground. My hand still into his, we reached inside her, took her entrails. His steady breath sent my heart racing as he gently guided my hand, full of bloody guts, to my face, smearing it all over as I closed my eyes, blood and bits dripping everywhere.

Death (2) - Nightclub

Out of habit, I knocked on the door. A sensual, almost silly voice greeted me. "Come in, it's unlocked!"

The room was a sight to see. Fully decorated in deep red tones, with some notes of black, I couldn't help but to think of an old cabaret's private rooms. Guess that's kinda what the club was - minus the old part.

Laying on the satin bed covers was the girl. She too was a sight to see - her bright red dress made a perfect contrast with the deep crimson of the room. She too looked like taken from an old, elegant cabaret. I took in the sight as she sensually signed at me to come closer. Man, she was gorgeous. Too bad I was there following orders, and not on an innocent pleasure night.

"Hello, cutie. Want me to carry you to heaven?"

Damn, she knew how to be sensual. I died a little on the inside, knowing too well I wasn't there to play that game. I handed her the VIP card as I sat on the bed.

Her expression changed, too subtle for most people to notice, but obvious enough for me. "Oh, so you're a VIP, huh? Well, I'm willing to play that game too, cutie. Just don't forget that there are rules in here."

I looked into her eyes. Poor thing. I felt bad for her. Doing special clients was bad enough, but... this was something else. I laid beside her, her hand sensually caressing my chest, a hint of what she could do. "So, what's it you want for tonight, darling?"

With a big effort, I managed to put on the at-work mask, hoping that it would become a reality soon enough. I petted her cheek softly, retracing the x-shaped scar with my fingers. "Why do you do this. Why do specials, I mean."

She was sensual as hell. Yet I could tell she was lying. "I like this, darling. Makes me feel good."

I smiled at her. "Okay. So, tell me, what's the worst you've... seen."

"Boss is always the worst, darling. But, oh, how I love when he decides to pay a visit...."

"Then you'll have a hell of a good night tonight, honey." I smiled as I pulled out a knife, gently placing the tip against her neck, almost forcing her to raise her head. My heart dropped as she smiled back. She was too used to this. Who the hell gets used to that stuff?

"You can do whatever you want with me, darling..."

I barely managed to keep my mask on. "Honey, I don't think you realize..." I started opening my own shirt. She couldn't hide a loud gasp when she saw the tattoo on my chest. "I don't think you realize Andrei sent me."

"Well, darling, he's the only one who hands VIP cards, so..." She winked an eye, back in character. Damn she was a good actress.

"Yeah. Your problem is, he said there are no rules tonight." I said as I immobilized her, the knife pressing hard on her throat.

And she broke down. Her mask was gone in a snap, panic took hold of her. "No... No, you can't..."

My mind snapped too - but in another direction. Her scared eyes got the best of me, and I couldn't help wanting more. My voice turned itself into an eerie whisper. "I can do whatever the hell I want. Honey. Now, be a nice girl and cooperate, will you?"

She let out a muted whimper as the knife nicked her skin. "Please..."

I got up, my heart racing, longing for more. I heard her sobbing as I opened the cabinet. I couldn't help but to whistle at it's contents. Holy shit. We were way less equipped than that at the workplace. A couple of the things made clear that Andrei's hand was behind the selection.

My eyes stopped on a plastic box. I hesitated a second before I reached for it. Sure this was hardcore stuff, but... technically it was still well below any red line.

She froze when I showed her the box. "Oh, god, please..."

"Look, Honey. Technically this is still within the rules, isn't it? ... I mean, it sure hurts like hell, but that's about it. It won't send you to the ER or anything, you know."

"Te-technically I... I can just... say... say no and... and walk away..." Tears filled her eyes as she realized her words wouldn't change anything.

I grinned at her. "Well, but I told you there are no rules tonight, didn't I?"

She started sobbing as I left the box open on the bed, while I went on to prepare the thing. A few minutes later, it was ready. I offered her my hand. "Come here."

She wouldn't move, so I took her hand and pulled her onto my arms. "I said come here, honey. Didn't you hear me?" I said in an eerie murmur as I petted her hair, gently, a subtle hint of what would come next. I took the knife once more, making her look into my eyes. She was frozen, terrified. She'd obviously been with Andrei quite a few times.

"Now, will you be nice and stay still?" I circled her, tied her hands in her back. I needed her to cooperate. Or at least it would make everything much easier.

She kept sobbing as I marked two symmetrical spots on her back. It was a good thing that her dress showed so much of it. I then took one of the meat hooks that now dangled from the thick rope I had hung from the ceiling, pinched her skin, and drove the hook through it.

She let out a scream of pain, which made me smile. This wasn't even that bad.

"Does it hurt?" I petted her shoulders in yet another hint.

"Please... oh, god, please, I can..."

"Shut up." I whispered into her ear. Then went on to put the second hook.

She screamed even louder this time, now just mumbling a continuous "no, no, no...."

I took the thick rope, and made her look up again, directly into my eyes. She was paralyzed with fear. My own voice didn't sound as threatening as it should have. "Now comes the worst part, honey. Are you ready?"

"Please...." She closed her eyes out of pure terror.

I pulled on the rope, lifting her in the air, suspended only by the two metal hooks pierced through her skin. She started wailing in agony. For a second, I closed my eyes, just listened to her. A smile came to my lips, a madman's grin, as I secured the rope, leaving her hanging.

Death (1) - Chained

Sometimes... Memories are the worst form of torture.

There was no other way, I'm sure of that. But that doesn't make it hurt any less, that won't make me forget the hardest decision of my life, nor its consequences. How could I possibly forget.

Things were already bad, Key had never been the same since... what happened with John. But still, life kept going on, like that old car which just refuses to stop working.

I guess the point of no return was when I went to see Andrei after a random job. We were in the safe room, discussing... whatever. I... no. It was not a mistake.

"I got a question, Andrei."

He just looked into my eyes. He already knew what I was going to say.

"So... why didn't I got a ring?"

Now, let me explain. The ring is, simply put, a control device, essentially a miniature taser. So far, nothing new under the sun - every one of the big players have been using similar devices since they managed to make them small enough to implant. Oh, yes. Same as you can put a comms chip under the skin, you can put one of those things. Again, nothing new.

But this one has two characteristics that set it apart from the other versions. First, it's more powerful, it can easily knock you out. And second, it's a ring, wrapped around the spine, somehow locked. Once in, there's no way to remove it.

Andrei looked at me, baffled. "Sandy. I've told you. I trust you. There's no point in..."

"Okay. But. Hypothetically. What if I asked you?"

"You're not speaking hypothetically, Sandy." He sighed loudly. "Look, boy. There's no point, I've told you."

"But what if..."

"Stop it. What the hell is wrong with you, Sandy. Why on earth would you ask for that?"

"You know the answer."

"Yes. You keep trying to hide behind the lies. You keep telling yourself that you have no other options than to do what I say. You keep wanting that to be true, Sandy. You keep wanting to get hurt so you can't change your mind." He smiled sadly, then woke up and went to a cabinet. He came back with a gun.

"Tell me to stop." He pointed the gun at my head.

I closed my eyes for a moment before calling his bluff. "You're not doing that."

He grabbed my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. "Are you sure, Sandy? ... Tell me to stop."

My racing heart almost betrayed my smile. "Yes, I'm sure. You want me to believe you? ... Then do something that's believable, at least." ... I was a sure as one can be with him, which is not a lot.

He sighed deeply as he lowered the gun, pointed it at my stomach. "Okay. This won't kill you, but it will send you to the hospital for a while. A vacation, if you wish." His eyes were glistening. "Now, tell me to stop."

I couldn't possibly answer. Guess he was right, I had made up my mind and just wanted to fit in, do anything he asked... no matter the price.

He sighed, almost exasperated. "Okay. Ask me to do it, then."  

Shit. No. Shit. A million times shit.

He looked into my eyes, trying hard to appear cold. "Sandy, You want me to do it?"

"N-No..." I barely managed to stutter.

"Then stop me." 

"I won't." I was dead serious. Guess I thought it was the only thing I had. His trust. I could not fail a test.

"Shit, kid. What the hell is wrong with you?! ... Okay. Oh-kay." He got up and went to find something in the cabinets. "You know... where the hell is this shit now?... Sandy, I'm not putting a ring on you, you silly. But I may have something for you. If I manage to find it in here, that is. Damn. Where the hell did I leave it?"

He kept searching and cursing for a while. I just looked at him, amused. It was a sight to see. The man who never got carried away, cursing to himself 'cause he couldn't find something.

"Aha. Here it is." He finally came back to the couch. "You want yet another reminder? Here. Be happy." He handed me a thick steel chain and a padlock.

It was something, I guess. "Okay. Do it."

I felt the cold steel against my nape, slowly circling my neck. A shiver ran down my spine as I noticed his warm hands, unintentionally caressing my skin. Of course I was scared, terrified of the memories of his hands giving away ominous hints, but... there was something else. A high that left me breathless.

He threaded the lock through the chain ends, and then stepped back. "I'm not gonna do this Sandy. You're not a dog, boy. This is..."

I toyed with the lock for a couple seconds. "Where are the keys."

"Somewhere in here. It's taken me at least ten minutes to find the chains, you expect me to try and search for the keys? ... Not going to happen." But his smile betrayed his words.

I gently took his warm hand, wrapped it around the still open lock. I froze in a high as his fingertips brushed my throat. "Do it."

He tried to make it harder. A test. I closed my eyes as he leaned onto me. His voice turned into an eerie whisper, I could feel his warm breath hitting my ear. "Beg for it."

My heart went into a frenzy. I was both terrified and thrilled at the same time. I tried in vain to steady my shaky voice. "Please... Andrei... Please, close it..."

And I heard the click. I opened my eyes to see the keys dangling before my eyes, his playful smile behind them.

"I don't want them, you know." I smiled.

"Well, I'm not having them. Hide them here if you want, I don't care what you do. But I'm telling you - if I find them, I'll leave them in your bedside table."

"No. You keep them."

He sighed, but stashed them in one of his pockets. "You're nuts, Sandy."

"Look who's talking." I smirked. 

He handed me a black flier. A VIP card, and free pass, to one of his clubs. "Here, go have some fun."

Shit. "You know, I..."

"You want to be free from yourself, to get over that inner voice of yours? ... Have some fun. Break the rules. There will be no consequences this time, Sandy."

I looked at him. Shit. Another test. I hated those. I've never liked harming innocent people.

"Or don't. Be nice if you want. I won't keep an eye on you, boy. Do whatever the hell you want."

I kept staring into his eyes. "We both know, if I break the rules, you'll hear about it. So..."

He interrupted me. "Okay, then. Don't break the rules. But have fun, will you?" Another push forward, hoping I would finally admit I didn't do it all for him, but for myself, hoping he wouldn't have to tell me what to do anymore.

Yet he didn't really leave me a choice about going to the club, so there I went.