The Ball (12) - His own medicine

Andrei looked into my eyes, a soft, eerie grin mixed with the usual void in his. "Now, what are you willing to do, Sasha."

I closed my eyes. I couldn't drown again in the midnight sea. "Anything."

I opened them back to find him a foot in front of me. "Really?"

"I'll take care of–" I cut myself off.

His expression made clear he wasn't talking about the guy. "Are you ready for another test, then?"

I sighed. What in hell could he have in mind this time, I had no clue. But, if I had a choice, I didn't want it. "Yeah. Ask."

His usual grin was tainted with uneasiness. "I want to see how far you can go, now that you know how it feels. Add in some serum. Make me ask you to stop. And keep going. Make me regret this."

... SHIT. "How... how can you do that, Andrei," I managed to say.

He grinned harder. "Well, I'd say you know the answer already, don't you?"

I sighed. Yeah. I was his target, after all. "Okay. One more question. And I'll do it. Why."

"Oh, you will?" His eyes gleamed hard, but for a split second, I saw beneath the mask – a hint of apprehension. He knew well what he was asking for. He was hoping I couldn't get that far, no matter how much he wanted me to pass the test. Yet the smiley mask erased all that from his face. All that was left was delight and pride. "Well, then, let me tell you why. It's like, the ultimate test, isn't it? If you can manage to do that to someone you care about – to me... you can pretty much do anything. I know what I'm getting myself into, and honestly, it seems like a small price to pay for your soul, Sasha."

I held his stare. So that's what you want. Everything. Well, it's been a long time since I agreed to your deal, you devil. "Makes sense."

"Okay, so, this is what you'll be doing. Start with serum. Twenty, thirty CCs should do it. Then pull it out. I'll ask you to stop – don't. Deal?" He leaned back onto the bed and managed to handcuff himself to the headboard.

I had a stupid smirk in my whole face. Andrei wasn't realizing his mistake of sorts – yes, I cared dearly about him, but he deserved this and then some. Yes, it would be painful to do it... but not as much as targeting, say, an innocent kid. Who really had done nothing and didn't know shit. "You're gonna regret this, Andrei. I swear," I said as I reached for the serum. The few syringes of crystal caught my eye too – but that wasn't really in the script, was it?

He smiled back. "I sure hope so, my boy. Now, make me proud."

"Oh, I will." I injected him with the first 10CC. Then realized, I had no idea of how much was enough. So I grabbed the pliers and latched them – also on a wisdom teeth. The small twist almost made him scream. And I realized what I was about to do. Sell my soul, indeed. Shit. But I had no choice. I had to. I wouldn't disappoint him. I'd make him proud. No matter what. I put on the mask. "Hey, just ten is enough for you? I had you for a lot tougher, man."

He tried to smile, but the pliers twisted it into a grotesque grin.

I gave him two more 10CC shots before testing again. This time he couldn't hide a soft wail – but once I stopped, he signed me a thumbs up. So I went for two more. Fifty in total. Hell on earth for anyone who hadn't abused it – but we'd reached much, much more in 'controlled tests' a.k.a 'let's see how far can we get before we have to stop'. But then, the whole tooth pulling thing was more painful than our usual electroshocks – if only, 'cause it didn't stop at the flip of a switch.

I tested again, and now he screamed to the top of his lungs, his wrists pulling hard against the cuffs. Oh, well. "But you wanted this, didn't you?" I teased. "In fact, you asked me to keep going long past your limits, didn't you?" I unlatched the pliers so he could reply. Big part of the fun was the whole argument thing.

"Goddammit, Sasha, I told you twenty or thirty, not fifty."

"You told me not to stop."

He sighed hard. "Okay. I've changed my mind. You win. I wasn't expecting you to get that far, alright? ... I wasn't expecting you to pass this one."

I smiled, letting the pliers rest on his chest so I could get closer – merely a couple inches from him, as he usually did. "Oh, well. I told you I was gonna make you proud, boss." I said that on purpose. He hated being called anything that was not his name. "I told you I was gonna make you regret this." I got on my feet to bring more serum.

He bit his tongue, realizing he was not in a position to protest a simple name. Realizing his mistake, but maybe not yet the full extent of it. "Sasha. Please. Enough is enough," he said when he saw the two extra syringes. "Do it if you want, but I already have had more than enough serum."

"I thought you'd said there's no such thing as going too far? ... Oh, sure, being there is not the same as being on the other side, up on your high horse, is it? One sees everything from another perspective, don't you think?"

He sighed. "Look, if you're going to get all moralizing to me..." He trailed off as the sixth syringe pierced his skin. His voice wasn't all that creepy anymore – now it was almost teary. Fearful. "Please. Please, Sasha. Stop it. You win, I've told you. You've beaten my best expectations. Now, stop it, will you?"

I didn't say anything else, just gave him the last shot. He just closed his eyes and started to take deep breaths, understanding that I wouldn't stop. He tried to look into my eyes as I grabbed the toothy pliers, but I avoided it. I wanted to get this done. I had done more than enough, indeed. So I latched the pliers, and, after the slight twist, that already sent him wailing, I pulled hard. I couldn't help smiling as he screamed his lungs out, in vain trying to ask me to stop – between the pain and the pliers, all that came out of his mouth was an unintelligible screaming mumble.

In a few moments, it was done. I tested for his pulse – just in case – and noticed his heart was racing. He kept whimpering from the pain, now in somewhat intelligible words. "Please, make it stop already..."

I unlocked his handcuffs –he wasn't going anywhere like that, anyway– and reached for the antidote.

I showed him the small syringe. The game wasn't over. "You want this?"

He tried to turn over and crawl to get it, but was in too much pain to actually move. "Please, you've done enough, please..."

I looked at my hand, at the small syringe. And couldn't help handing it to him. He stabbed himself like a madman, trying to get the soothing chemicals in as soon as possible. He tried to breathe deep, to make the long seconds that it took to act somewhat shorter. Then he bolted up and looked at me, realizing something was wrong, realizing it wasn't only taking too long to act, but the pain was getting worse – spreading all over.

And for the first time, as he realized what I'd done, I saw true fear in his eyes. He could barely mumble a muted "Sasha, please..." over and over.

Crystal. In his pain, he hadn't checked what I'd given him, too eager to make it stop. I had changed my mind at the last moment, actually – I still had the antidote in my pocket.

I knew well what he was going through. Hell. Yes. I'd been through worse. Seventy units weren't that much for us, actually. Add crystal... okay, yes, it was that much. But still, I had been through worse – at his hands. He deserved every minute, every single second of this. And I would make sure he would have it. After all, he used to say he deserved everything I could throw at him and then some – and he was utterly right.

I took in his fear. It's not every day you see someone like him actually fear something. And he'd asked for this. I drew the antidote syringe and sat beside him. "It's funny, hm? Knowing that you deserve this. That you asked for it. And yet here you are, wondering when will I finally stop."

He managed to talk somewhat clearer now. "Sasha... please... just tell me what you want... but stop it... stop it already..."

I couldn't help grinning. "I just want to make you proud of me, Andrei. Tell me. Am I doing a good job? Hm?"

He knew too well begging wouldn't actually get him anywhere, but he was desperate enough to keep trying.

I ignored it. "Now, tell me. Do you really think we can't know? Hm? ... Sure, it's not the same. They fear for their lives. We fear for what we know can and will happen. But deep inside, it's all the same. Or, tell me, and please be honest. Wouldn't you do anything to make it stop?"

"Yes, yes, Sasha, anything you want, I swear, just make it stop..."

I smiled again. "Are you hearing yourself? ... Anything I want? You're taking quite a risk with that, Andrei. Good thing I just want to see you like this." ... That was a lie. To a point. I think. Whatever. "And here I thought I'd never see it. I'd never see you actually fear for anything. Silly me. All it took was you asking for it."

"Goddammit, Sasha... please... You've already done enough..."

"You did worse. Did you realize that? No, you didn't. You see, there was a point in Key's training exercises. It wasn't only about pain resilience, or about keeping your feet on the ground. It was also about getting to know it so you could use it later. Okay, you don't need that last part, right. But the whole keeping your feet on the ground? ... Welcome to reality, boss. Welcome to your own hell."

His curses started getting worse. Realizing I wouldn't stop so easily, he drew strength from the pain and started swearing more and more.

I finally sighed, after yet another good while of teasing. "Okay, okay. I get it. No need to embarrass a sailor. You've had enough." I gave him the last shot – antidote.

It took about a minute to act, but he relaxed long before that. Not having to try not to scream his lungs out did make a difference. Then he looked at me. Broken. And he hugged me, hard, almost taking my breath away. I noticed something wet in my cheek – his tears. This had been harder on him than I had expected. He wasn't used to trying his own medicine, after all.

"Hey. It's over." I said. "Look, I..." ... I'm sorry, I was going to say. I shouldn't have.

But he cut me off. "Cut that crap, Sasha. You did what you had to. You beat my wildest expectations. I want you to know that I couldn't be any prouder of you. So don't you dare to say you're sorry now. ... We both know you'd be lying."

I hugged him harder. It was painful to admit, but he was utterly right.